First dates are a possible landmine of awkward conversation and even more awkward silences. They are indeed a tricky landscape to traverse. After spending hours upon days upon weeks speaking online *sigh* you have now found that when it comes to a face to face encounter, you have very little to say. I would have chastised you for being an idiot if this same thing hadn't happened to me before (so many goddamn times, in fact). However, much like the infant who no longer wets the bed, I too have learned from my past mistakes and have grown to be a more mature, articulate and all round awesome person. And you can too, you just need a guide to show you the way and that's exactly what I'm going to do. You're welcome, by the way...
1) What would you do in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse?
Run, hide or die?
2) What's your favorite flavour of Ice-cream?
If you say strawberry then you may as well just pack your bags and leave.
3) Are you a racist?
HEY! Better safe than sorry, am I right?
4) Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Jacob, clearly. C'mon.
5) What's your favourite film?
I'm going to go ahead and try very hard not to judge you here.
6) Do you like me?
This could get sufficiently awkward.
7) What's your giving to receiving ratio?
A very important question if you think about it, no one wants a selfish lover after all.
8) Do you have any STD's?
Don't look at me like that, it's an important question, ok?
9) What's your opinion on same sex marriage and all that jazz?
Let's really get into this one.
10) What's your most embarrassing story?
And what are the chances it involves alcohol.
11) Tell me something you find weirdly attractive (technically not a question but fuck it).
And if I happen to be the thing you find weirdly attractive, well then that's ok too.
12) Can you bust a move?
I don't want you to be Chris Brown good but not at the same time you can't be Taylor Swift bad.
13) If we had a twerk off who would win?
14) Who or what is your spirit animal?
Mine is Kanye West...
15) Chinese food or pizza?
16) What do you think happens after we die?
17) If you were a superhero what would your superpower be?
And would disappearing right now be up there on your list?
18) Spit or swallow?
They will either respect your bravery or throw a drink in your face....I say you should risk it for a biscuit.
19) What is the craziest thing you've ever done?
Go on, startle me with your craziness.
20) If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Be a bit different and surprise me.
21) What's your biggest regret?
Agreeing to this date?
22) Who is your favourite ninja turtle?
Obviously Leonardo, no questions asked.
23) When's the last time you cried?
And was it film related.
24) Have you watched Moonrise Kingdom?
If it's no, then end the date immediately because they're obviously a terrible person.
25) Why are you so goddamn beautiful?