41 Things You Really Want To Say To That Sh*tty Ex

You can do better. They weren't good enough for you. What were you thinking? We've all had to listen to the bullshit that comes along with a break-up. Friends rush to your side to comfort you, calling the one who has hurt you every bad name under the sun. They'll never really understand though unless they've been through it themselves. Whatever terrible thing that someone is thinking about your ex, it's likely that you're thinking things ten times worse and most of us would kill for a chance to say some of these horrible things to their face. Here are 41 things you really want to say to that shitty ex;

1) "I really could have done better than you."

2) "Size does matter. Obviously."

3) "My friends never liked you anyway."

4) "And your friends are dicks."

5) "Your cum face is beyond unattractive."

6) "Your parents are snobs."

7) "My Dad never trusted you, it seems as though he was right."

8) "There was a reason I always cropped you out of my profile picture."

9) "Your morning face was more ugly than cute."

10) "You really couldn't pull off that no make-up selfie."

11) "I never listened to your 'funny' stories anyway."

12) "No, that was not normal and no, it does not happen to everyone."

13) "You had no reason to be that vain. Look at yourself. "

14) "I frequently look at you and ask myself what I was thinking."

15) "You had shitty taste in films. It was actually kind of embarassing."

16) "I've seen bigger knobs on a toy house door."

17) "I always fancied your friend. Always."

18) "No it is not acceptable for a 23 year old to give his laundry to his mother."

19) "You have patchy stubble."

20) "My Grandmother is one hundred percent stronger than you are."

21) "You couldn't find a clitoris if you had sat nav."

22) "Your terrible music could be used as a torture mechanism."

23) "Your cat isn't cute. Your cat is a dick."

24) "My idea of fun in bed with you was sleeping."

25) "I always faked it with you. I mean always."

26) "I didn't lose that Christmas present. I returned it."

27) "I really don't think you'll go places in life. Unless those places include prison."

28) "I just wish I'd spent the past two years doing someone productive."

29) "If it wasn't for Facebook, I'd never have remembered your Birthday."

30) "I always thought your sister was hotter than you."

31) "Yes, your bum did look big in that."

32) "I used to fantasise about your hot mate when we were doing it."

33) "That was a push up bra. Stop fooling us all."

34) "Maybe some day you'll grow a pair down there. Maybe...."

35) "When I said you needed a trim, I didn't mean on your head."

36) "Yes, you did need to join a gym. Stat."

37) "No it wasn't normal for it to smell like that."

38) "Fine is not a complimentary term used about sex."

39) "You text like an imbecile. "

40) "You had the fashion sense of a forty three year old art teacher."

41) "Enjoy life with your cats, dickbrain."