7 Essential Ingredients For The Perfect College Girlfriend...

There is a hymn sheet that every single "What a guy wants in a girl" sings off. "We want a girl with big boobs. Someone with a sense of humour. Someone who gets on with your friends." This is not one of those lists. This does not say "We love a girl who wears kinky underwear". This is an honest to God list of things that every guy, regardless of taste, wants in a girlfriend.

1) They Need To Be Openly Stubborn

WTF? I can hear so many people crying out in cynicism already, but hear me out. All girls are a little bit stubborn. (That's not sexism, all guys are a little stubborn as well.) If a girl doesn't argue with you on a couple of points on a regular basis, then the relationship gets boring extremely quickly. It doesn't even have to be a big deal what you disagree on, so long as they're open about how little they care about video games, or whatever. The other side effect of not being openly stubborn is that they keep their opinions to themselves, pent up the anger and then unleash it suddenly. There's no transition process, which is a nasty shock to the system.

2) They Need To Know How Attractive They Are

Whatever about what a girl actually looks like, that really doesn't matter. Everyone has different tastes. One person's gorgeous babe is someone else's troll. But it is so important that a girl is aware of how attractive she is. If she has a notably alternative look to her friends, has amazing legs and really unique purple hair-cut, she can't complain that she isn't a '10/10 supermodel', as prescribed by Cosmopolitan magazine. She is a girl with unique features and absolutely stunning to a wide array of people, some of whom she's met, many she hasn't. The last thing any guy wants to hear is you complaining that you don't look like Jennifer Lawrence. If it was a choice between Jennifer Lawrence and someone who looks like Jennifer Lawrence, you know who they'd choose? They'd choose Jennifer Lawrence! Own your look, it's unique.


3) They Have To Have Guilty Pleasures

A girl without a guilty pleasure is like a cardboard cutout that's already been folded in half. And the most important word in that sentence is 'guilty'. It's not enough for a girl to be proud of a habit that everyone else thinks is lame. She has to have that little secret to cling to, something she keeps from the guys for as long as she possibly can. You might be asking yourself, why is this important to guys? Why would they care about secret little habits? It's a game, that's why. If a girl is upfront with everything she likes and is unashamed of it all, then she's uncomplicated. She's simple, so there is no sense of achievement in 'figuring her out'. Guys love figuring girls out. Every guilty pleasure and dirty secret is a milestone. If they spend their whole lives trying to figure a girl out, they're secretly very happy.

4) They Should Spend A Lot Of Time Daydreaming

A girl who spends her time fantasizing of better things and wanting to be doing better in life is a girl who can appreciate the little gestures a guy makes for her. Sure, a girl who is efficient, hard-working and gets things done is....'practical'. But how many girls want to be thought of as 'practical'? A girl should be constantly wanting more from life, from her job, from her friends and, despite what guys say, from her man. Those girls get the most satisfaction out of the little things in life and are the most interesting. Because they strive for things, and are always trying to reach their unreachable goals. Even if their definition of 'trying' is to simply keep dreaming about them.


5) They Need To Actively Hate Something

It's important for a girl to be passionate about things. They should be obsessed with Jane Eyre books, or Buffy The Vampire Slayer, or Beyoncè. They should talk about the things they love all the time, and show that they actually have a personality. But they can't just go around being all love and puppies and bubbles, like a mindless Barbie doll. It's fine to be optimistic and think the best of people, but there needs to be a balance. They need to show that things piss them off. That they're not simply a bystander, basking in the waves of everyday life. If a girl actually cares about things in life (and has a brain!), then she is going to be pissed off with a lot of things in life. Which is something that every guy wants in his life, even if he doesn't realize it.

6) They Should Do Silly, Pointless Little Things

A girl who never procrastinates is a girl with nothing but business on her mind. Ask her how her day with and she'll tell you it was fine. A girl who takes a break from studying to put on a little play using paperclips as cast members, that's a girl who is never going to be bored on a night in. Ask her how her day went and she'll tell you how she drew a picture of a monkey on her textbook and named him Terry. Why? Just because she randomly thought of zoo animals while looking up Val Kilmer's Wikipedia page. If she's saving up to go on holiday, she's still going to have the time of her life, staying in and playing around with the guy she's with. She'll tease you with stupid, silly little things. And that will drive a guy absolutely bananas. A girl who is silly and does things that makes no sense.....is the best kind of girl.

7) They Have To Inherently Love Food

Any girl who doesn't have an inherent love of milk-fried chicken, deep-crusted cheese pizza and Belgian waffles, is a girl who is dangerously obsessed with self image. A guy wants a girl to look well, but he doesn't want them to be so obsessed with how they look that they can't enjoy the good things in life. Guys want to be able to share chocolate profiteroles with their girlfriends without them disappearing for a half hour jog. They want to cook breakfast in bed for their girls without hearing "Oh, I can't eat that, it's got carbs." They want a girl who unwinds by baking a big batch of cookies, and is overly delighted when you do the same. Food is the central ingredient to romance. When was the last time jogging featured in a romantic comedy?

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Stephen Hill
Article written by
I like everything everything that was big in the 80's: Meatloaf power ballads, video games with swords and dragons, cartoons about anthropomorphic animals solving crimes and movies with Bill Murray in them. I know nothing about any sports, with the exception of Quidditch. I'm also fond of tea, the occasional custard cream and support the Browncoats
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