We all want that first moment to be lightning. Boom, crash, bang! That’s what we’re hoping for, right? Let nature take its course etc. etc. The thing is, nature can always use a helping hand. You need chemistry for that (okay, fine, physics! Gold star for noticing!). So in case you want to get physical, you’ve got to give the chemistry a helping hand.
1. Your lips are not the first thing that speak
How you dress and how you hold yourself is. Of course, most people know that. The thing is, what they don’t seem to know is what they’re saying with what they’re wearing. The thing is, we’ve got this mental image of who we are, but it’s rarely very accurate. So take the steps you need to stop procrastinating and get somebody else involved. They can give you tips about what works well for you. Find somebody with real style, so no not your mom.
2. Screw body language, act natural
Remember these two simple rules: 1. Act like a human being. With that, I mean that you let your natural body language happen as it will. I know you’re trying to make a good impression, but being natural is a much better way to do that. 2. If you like him, roughly do what he does. That’s called mirroring. Many people seem to think that they need to copy each action. It’s not like that. If he turns towards you, turn towards him. If he leans forward, do the same. That’s enough.
3. You need to take turns
In human conversations we subconsciously try to make certain we speak just as much as the other person. Some people, however, find the sound of their own voice so wonderful. Don’t be that person, because it does not impress.
4. People like positivity
Have you ever done any improvisation? They always say ‘say yes’. Okay, get your mind out of the gutter. That isn’t what I’m talking about. We’re still at the first meeting here! You don’t move that quickly, do you? Anyway, back to improve. They say you should say yes because ‘no’ kills the improvisation, while ‘yes’ lets it continue. Conversations are the same. Being positive and open is far more likely to keep the conversation going than saying your cat died. Poor Fluffy.
5. Be interested in being interesting
People can immediately sense when you think you’re the most important person in the room and it does not make for easy talking. Nor does it let him know that you’re in any way interested. So instead, ask some questions. It’s not that hard. They don’t even have to be that interesting. Just make sure they’re open, like ‘why do you like sports’, rather than closed, ‘do you like sports’ as the former can lead to a story while the latter only leads to monosyllabism. No, don’t worry, that’s not a new STD.
6. Be challenging
A good man likes to be challenged or teased at least a little bit. If they are incredibly enthusiastic about something – like sports – it’s okay to give them a bit of a hard time about it.Now don’t immediately go for the sexual innuendos. That’s another place to be challenging by not playing all your cards on the first hand.
7. Don’t hide
A lot of women think they need to be somebody else than who they are with men. The thing is, that’s hard work. That means you have to keep track of him and who he is and your other personality. How are you ever going to have any brain power left over for witty comments? And besides, if you’re pretending to be somebody you’re not, what happens if you hit it off? Sooner or later the other shoe will drop. What then? So be yourself. It really is more than good enough. We always think people pay far more attention to us than they do. That’s called ‘the spotlight effect’. But they don’t. They’ve got their own problems to worry about. Be yourself. Go for it!
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