Girls, we've asked most of the questions, right? There's an endless amount of information about men that we've acquired over the years - likes, dislikes, sex drive, and anything anyone could possibly know. But there are those other questions, the ones that pop into your head just upon noticing them. Perhaps it crosses your mind when you're on the bus, or taking a leisurely stroll. These are the questions to which you think you'll never get an answer... And you won't get one now.
9. How Do You Pee With A Boner?
Most of us have seen 'The 40 Year Old Virgin', that part where Steve Carell pees on his own face because he's just that hard, but does that really happen? Is it painful?
8. How Do You Fake An Orgasm?
Seriously, boys, we thought this was our thing. Most of the female population have faked an orgasm more than once, probably more than six, seven or eight times. We thought it was the one thing in the sexual power struggle that was ours. Then we find out, through 'Friends' no less, that men, namely Chandler, can do it too. How in the holy hell does that work?
7. While Peeing, Does The Zip Go Under The Cock Or Balls?
This seems like it should be an obvious answer - that it goes under the cock - but what if it got caught between your cock and balls? Then again, what if it got caught in the gouche? Boys, you literally take your life into your hands with this one.
6. While Running, Is It Painful When Your Bits Are Flying About?
You should know, you've seen it, ladies' boobies bounce about while we run, it's just a fact. If you're anything over a B cup, it's a painful experience. What we want to know is, is it the same for you boys? While out for a casual walk, I have been blind-sided by more than one wayward penis flapping in the breeze - the trials of a runner, obviously. Does it hurt? It looks like it hurts.
5. Do You Really Care About Hairy Legs?
If you don't, then it'd be nice to know. There will still be ladies who shave every day, or wax uncontrollably. But knowing that a little stubble won't turn you off will ease the minds of thousands.
4. Do You Always Need To Hold Onto The Peepee For Control?
I've seen the remnants of men trying to do it freestyle and, more often than not, I've walked into it. Great. But are there those supermen out there who can control the direction of the flow without holding it? Do you make up games in your head to make it more interesting? I feel like you probably do.
3. What Does It Feel Like To Shave Your Face?
Is it itchy? Uncomfortable? How do you get rid of those little red bumps? Personally, if I was a man, I would have a huge and unruly lumberjack beard and wear plaid wherever I went.
2. Can You Always Feel That Your Penis And Balls Are Right There?
All the time? Does it get in the way as you walk? I imagine that it would, and that's why there are a select handful of men who walk like they've been fisted by a cactus. I've known men that have sat on their own ball sacks, that must be an upsetting and painful moment in your lives.
1. What Is It Like To Pop A Boner At An Awkward Time?
And how do you get rid of it? Do you just will it away? Thinking of dead puppies and Donald Trump? Or do you ever have to sneak off for a cheeky one-two-Uniflu in the nearest bathroom?