When you've been in a relationship for a while, tension starts to mount more than you guys do. You're both looking for the tiniest little thing to have an argument about and, sometimes, it's just too easy to blow up about these things. Here are some of the worst offenders, tiny little nothings that somehow spark off Armageddon.
1) Telling Bad Jokes
"You're not funny. You're not fucking funny!" This is one that seems to apply to lads a little more than girls. All those terrible jokes, which were so charming when you first met, are now quite literally the worst thing in your life.
2) Not Texting Back... For 5 Minutes
When you guys started going out, you'd text back within seconds, while simultaneously having a completely different conversation over Facebook comments. You can still do that, but now a short pause between texts is less "did I do something wrong?" and more "what the fuck is taking so long?!"
Advertisement
3) Eating Their Food
"Where's my chocolate? Did you eat my chocolate?! That was the only good thing left in my life!!" Remember when you'd go out of your way to buy them food, only too happy to share everything? Those were the good old days. The days when your eyes didn't get scratched out...
4) Breathing Loudly
Spend enough time with anyone, and this will definitely drive you crazy. The constant wheezing and whistling tends to spark people to ask the totally reasonable question "Can you please just stop BREATHING?!" And if you're going out with someone who does this in their sleep, you've definitely tried to squeeze their nose shut, just to see if it helps.
5) Changing The Channel Too Fast
Advertisement
"How can you even see what's on? Go back, that might have been good!" This is around the stage of the relationship where you're still polite enough to say you'll watch whatever they want to watch. But you're still going to criticize them every step of the way, before they eventually settle on the same show they watch every day.
6) Talking While They're Watching TV
Another thing that drives us all crazy, but we only let it show when we've been going out for a while. Worst of all is when you're watching something incredible and they won't stop asking you the most maddeningly boring and off-topic questions. "Do you remember that show, 'Clarissa Explains It All'? I think that was Sabrina The Teenage Witch. Wasn't it? Hey, are you listening? Why are you sharpening that knife?"
7) Creeping
Advertisement
Some people spend a lot of time of Facebook, that's something we just have to get used to. But if someone spends ALL their time on Facebook, they start going to weird places online. You walk into their room and they're creeping on some randomer's page and suddenly, you just see red. Why, oh why, do they need to look at the photos of their old piano teacher's daughter's boyfriend's trip to France? What possible reason could there be to be in that part of the Internet?!
8) Farting
This is exclusively guys. Everyone knows that girls don't fart. It's a scientific fact. But when I say fart, I don't mean outright letting one rip... because that's a pretty big deal. You should get angry at that. But when they just pass a little puff of wind, it shouldn't be a cause for alarm. So how come when I do it, I end up sleeping on a couch, thinking about what I did?
9) Messy Bathrooms
The biggest of the tiny things that drive couples bonkers: messy bathrooms. And weirdly, both guys and girls are messy in drastically different ways. Girls, generally, tend to cover every available surface with creams, perfumes and weird hair tools that men couldn't possibly understand. Which can drive us bat-shit insane. So we get our own back by making our own mess. Pubes everywhere! Cue explosive arguments and curling iron to the face.
Know what looks good on a C.V.? Published work! If you’re interested in joining the College Times team, please email us ([email protected]). We’d love to hear from you!
