Inevitably you will look like shit
It just happens.. You never step in dog poo but the one time you do, you will meet your ex five minutes later. You can't plan these things, they're worked out by mystical gods above who take delight in mortifying recently split couples.
The first thing you will notice about him is that:
He smiles awkwardly at you
He will have gotten hotter.
Maybe it's because he's not your's. But then it's not as if you were trying to make him look worse.. the opposite in fact.
He will have given up smoking/drugs/excessive drinking and may even be carrying a gym bag
That stupid beard and tache you asked him to shave will have left the building
Of course it couldn't have happened on your watch.. oh no..
He'll have got his shit together
When he was with you he was a budding entrepreneur, aka a weed smoking obsessive Angry Birds player. Now he actually has a job.
You won't be able to look him in the eye
We assume his eyes are not lasers but in this instance they may as well be.. You just can't look at them.. it's too weird.
Butterflies
No need to explain these. Yes, you broke up with him for good reason… This just hasn't communicated clearly to your gut. #annoying
He will be dressed decently
None of the ratty tatty crap he turned up in your house in. He is wearing shoes that do not have holes in them and there's a hint of All Saints about his TShirt.
You will ask each other about your mum's
Conversation will feel crazy awkward. You literally have NOTHING to talk about.
You talk, you talk a lot on a daily basis but for some reason it just becomes impossible when you are with him. A mere 'How Are You?' is like reading the hard part of an advanced Dutch language book.
You will hug and it will feel so strange
Half of you might want to lunge.. the other half of you feverishly attempts to maintain your dignity.
You will reminisce
It's hard to stop it..
More than likely you will creep on his Facebook/Twitter/Instagram once you go home..
If you've deleted him that's just annoying. Don't add him back.. play with the cats instead.
Don't send a petty 'Nice to see you today. We should do coffee unless you are really prepared for the consequences'...
