The Ol' Smash & Dash: 4 Surefire Signs That You're A Rebound

Being someone's 'rebound' isn't always exactly a bad thing, however it does become an issue when you're a rebound and you don't realise it, because how shitty is that? There's honestly nothing worse than getting emotionally invested in someone when all they intend on is just a quick summer fling. So rather than waiting to find out a couple weeks from now when they dump your ass, instead you can figure out now whether or not you are indeed a rebound. You ready?

1) They Constantly Talk About Their Ex

If you find that the vast majority of your conversations seem to cluster around the topic of their recent ex, then you're probably a rebound dude. Don't be fooled by the fact that all she ever seems to do is complain and insult her ex, because she's clearly not over it. Also if she says some shit like "you're so much better than him, I'm glad I made the right choice" you'd better run because she's obviously still fixated on the dude and is looking to use you as his penial replacement. She's a couple of short steps away from making you wear a mask of his face. Yes, that's how fucked up your situation currently is.

 2) They Text You Irregularly

Oh when they text you it's awesome, it's all cute and romantic and all that other shit. They're attentive and seem to really take an interest in what I can only describe as your mundane life. Here's the catch though, they're not consistent with their word actions whatsoever. They'll have bursts of random affection on Monday and then for the rest of the week you may not hear a word from them. Not only are you a physical rebound, you're also an emotional one. On days when they're really missing their ex and are feeling lonely you'll be the first one that they call. And as for the days when they're feeling okay, your phone is unlikely to ring. Harsh but true.


3) Everything Is On Their Terms

As an extension of my second point, what truly grants you eternal rebound status is when everything is on their terms. You text when she wants to text, you hang out when she wants to and most importantly, if you only smash when she wants to, then she's blatantly using you mate, so wise the fuck up. She essentially has a hole that needs filling *giggles*, an emotional hole, stop being a perve.

4) They Tell You You're A Rebound

If you're going to be someone's rebound, chances are they're going to tell you. Now, they won't just come right out and say it, but they'll give you little hints, signals that you may just be a brief saga in their dating history. They'll say things like: "I'm not really looking for anything serious right now" or "I've been hurt before, so I'm just trying to play it safe" or "I'm just using you for your penis". Regardless of which way they try to phrase it, the results are always the same. You, my friend, are a big fat rebound.

Dafe Orugbo
Article written by
Dafe once went streaking in the middle of the day for the promise of a 4in1. He is in possession of a spectacular ass, and considers himself quite the suave "Motha-Fucka". He studies English and Law in Maynooth University, but rarely attends classes because he is; and I quote - "Too busy mackin them bishes". His love for appletini's is only outweighed by his love for appletini's. Be warned if you ever encounter Dafe in the real world, he will probably turn you to the darkside *whispers* black people...
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