Bitch or Bestie: The 6 Types Of Friends Your Girlfriend Has

If you've just started going out with girl, you're going to be going on dates, meeting around the back of pubs or hanging out beneath one anothers bed-covers. But as time goes on, you're going to start meeting a few mates of hers. Some of them good. Some of them will be your new best mates. Others are the worst people you will ever meet. We list the most common examples here:

1) The Fixer

More commonly known as her 'bestie'. This girl is going to absolutely adore you, and spend every waking minute making sure that everything between you is going amazingly. If she's a little bit upset, the Fixer will give you a heads-up, tell you what's bothering her and what to say. She wants nothing more than everyone to be happy. And if she dumps you, she'll give you a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and say she wishes it could have worked out. On the other hand, if you dump your girlfriend, this girl will become a towering thunder bitch from hell, making sure you never get near her ever again. Expect a lot of screaming at night clubs. Angry ones, not fun ones.

2) The Flirt

That one girl who isn't so much a friend, as someone who hangs out with your new missus out of habit. Weirdly, she never seems to look anything less than incredible when she knows you're around. And she always makes comments about how good you probably are in bed. Anytime your girlfriend wants to go home early, or gets annoyed that you aren't around, the Flirt will be the very first person to jump to your defense. Even if you're totally in the wrong and she's totally dissing her friend. Don't go anywhere alone with this girl, because it is guaranteed to end with you as a single pringle.


3) The Bitch That Hates You

Amongst her friends, she's typically known as the Drama Queen. The one who loves nothing more than going out, getting pissed and getting the ride. She has absolutely no time for slowing down, watching a quiet movie and definitely not for relationships. As a direct result of this, this Bitch will be passive aggressive to you at best and roar drunken insults to you at her worst. She'll ridicule every hobby you have, call you a knob for everything you do and outright retch whenever she sees you and the girlfriend together. If it's possible, avoid her at all costs. If not, assassins are relatively cheap nowadays...

4) The 'Whatever'

This is a little like the Bitch stereotype, because she'll come off as really cold. A lot of her friends will make a little bit of effort when they meet you, but this one just doesn't give a shit. As far as she's concerned, you don't even exist and she is flat out not going to talk to you unless she has to. Maybe she has a crush on you. Maybe she doesn't expect you to last long. Hell, maybe she plain just doesn't like people! Whatever the reason, get used to her. If 'Whatever' and your girlfriend are good friends, prepare for a lot of stony, ball-shriveling silences whenever you're left alone together.


5) The Threat

The lad friend. The guy. The one who is way too close to your girlfriend and throws dirty looks at you at every opportunity. And yet he'll be nice as hell to your face whenever you guys are talking. But he'll still manage to throw in the occasional jab. Maybe he'll say something like "Ah but your course isn't very hands on, is it?". Or "I dunno man, I dunno if I could work in a job like that (your job), it'd just be demeaning." Worst of all, your girlfriend probably can't even see this happening in front of her nose. She's just assures you that they're "really close friends. Nothing would ever happen between us". But if you ever have a fight, you know the Threat will be right there, with a bottle of wine, and a shoulder to cry on. The dirtbag.

6) Your New Bestie

On the flip side of the coin, you might find that rare breed of girlfriend mates: the one who was custom made for you. Whether it's a guy who supports your team, a girl who loves an obscure TV show you're really into or whatever, you guys will click instantly. If it's a girl, your girlfriend might get really worried that you're going to start preferring you New Bestie over her, so be careful not to be too enthusiastic. If it's a lad though, go nuts. Actually, scratch that. Go crazy. Everyone loves a good bromance.

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Stephen Hill
Article written by
I like everything everything that was big in the 80's: Meatloaf power ballads, video games with swords and dragons, cartoons about anthropomorphic animals solving crimes and movies with Bill Murray in them. I know nothing about any sports, with the exception of Quidditch. I'm also fond of tea, the occasional custard cream and support the Browncoats
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