Do Opposites Really Attract?

So the burning question of the week: do opposites really attract? Are you supposed to date someone who also has 3 younger sisters, 2 cats, played basketball in middle school and wants to be an English teacher, or are you supposed to date someone who's nothing like you so that you can learn from them and grow? Honestly, it just depends what you want out of the relationship and what kind of people you like to surround yourself with (hint, hint: how similar are you and your friends?)...



If you're with your "opposite," you're always going to be learning because you're going to be seeing the world through a perspective you've never had. Maybe walking down the driveway to your car is enough nature for one day, but your partner adores hiking and camping. As he shows you his passions, you'll see what he thinks of and enjoys about being outside and you can share your own perspective, even if it is, "This is total shit. I hate this." When you're super similar, you may get to the end of the honeymoon phase, know all about each other, and have few stories to tell that would actually be interesting to the other person cause they've got similar ones too and don't really care. But with opposites, you'll find that even stories you wouldn't have thought of as interesting are completely foreign and therefore fascinating to the other person.




There's the cliché that a SO can make you a better person. Maybe you're pretty Type B but have a driven SO and that person makes you more productive and more proactive about accomplishing your goals. Maybe the person you're dating doesn't complain ever and it makes you realize how much you do and so you begin to stop and feel yourself looking at like more positively. In those situations, where you adopt traits opposite of ones you have and they enhance your life, the opposites attract effect is so real. But there are bound to be traits you like in yourself, and seeing the opposite in them may make you unhappy. Maybe you're super anal about neatness and you're dating a fucking slob and you can't understand how the fuck they got to be a grown adult who can't pick up after themselves. These traits might come to annoy you more than you know...



Another great thing is the ability to share new experiences. It would be really fun to get to explain your passions to the new person you're dating and bring them along to experience why you love hockey/yodelling/BDSM so much. However, there may be a reason you haven't done the activities your SO loves and now you suddenly feel obligated to do them. Maybe they LOVE going to new restaurants but you're a gluten-free vegetarian whose basically gonna have to eat a piece of lettuce at all the weird places they bring you. Maybe they are fucking nuts for watching golf but you'd rather watch paint dry. Knowing how you're going to spend your time together and if you're gonna hate it is probably important.





Another thing to think about is whether any interests or traits are really important to you, in other words, is there anything your partner needs to like or do to make you happy? Maybe you look forward to 5 o'clock Friday to go to the bar and blow off some steam and your new plaything is 5 years sober and will never have a drink with you. Maybe you're feeling your eggs rotting and you're ready to get married and have babies NOW but they seem to want to just fuck around for another 10 years. Obviously it's not going to matter if you don't have the same favourite movie, but if there's something you know could be a deal breaker and they hold they opposite opinion, it might not work. Best to figure that one out early.




Quite frankly, you will never like all of somebody whether you're similar or dissimilar to each other. The other person will have flaws and annoying habits and act like a little bitch sometimes. You just have to realize if you can look past the few things you don't like in favour of all of the things you do, or if the things you don't like are too big and too glaring and you're resenting or not enjoying the other person. It honestly doesn't matter if you find your opposite or not. A true opposite to you may not even exist. You just have to put in the work to look past things you'd want to change about them or find someone else who is more/less similar to you based on what you've discovered you wanted from past experience.


Video: Couples Who Prove Opposites Attract



Credit: BuzzFeedYellow 

Casey Schmauder
Article written by
Casey Schmauder is a third year student at the University of Pittsburgh studying nonfiction writing and psychology, currently enjoying a study abroad in Ireland writing for CollegeTimes and TeenTimes.
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