Oh God, I'm Going To Do It... The Emotional Cycle Of Asking A Girl Out

We've all been there/here.. You've seen a pretty woman and you're now a smitten kitten. You might not ask her right way, but it plays on your mind, for some guys the thought is bugging them for days. 'Will I won't I?' Kinda stuff and then you say to yourself "Meh I like her what's the worst that could happen?" You've told a mate and he told you the same thing. Now you're fucked, no going back. Here are the emotions and phases you will or did experience.

1. Oh god, I'm doing it..

You have decided you are doing this. YOLO and all that shiz.

2. Yeah, Cool No Problem. I can't totally do this..

It seems that you've got this in the bag. Your brain hasn't stuck itself into over drive and you feel like you could ask anybody. Like, what? No big deal, broseph..


3. Confidence Check

'Wait, hold up a sec, I don't got this. Where has my confidence gone? It's f@cked off on holiday. I can't do this.'

At this stage, you need to regain some confidence feel like da man again. Do it whatever way you can. Keep the faith.

4. Self-doubt

'Nope, the confidence is gone' 'I'm not good enough for her, she's too cool, out of my league.' 'Oh God, what am I doing?'


5. Anxiety

Heart is going 90 and you feel heavy. The time is close. You said you would do it. Shit is going down.

6. Sweats

'Oh, that's her, there she is.' You've spotted her in the distance and she has seen you. The point of no return. You are hot and the sweat is starting to flow. Your back is now a waterfall..


7. Calling A Friend For Support

Last desperate attempt to calm yourself. Some reassurance from a good friend to pump you up. 'You can do it, man. He tells you 'You're awesome and things, chicks dig guys that are good at stuff' Words of wisdom..

8. Butterflies

Your stomach is in knots and the flutter of little wings makes it hard to stand straight but you're a man act like it. Head high and back straight. Even if you don't feel strong try and personify strength..


9. The shakes

Hands are shaky like you have them on top a washing machine or you're about to go into some sort of fit.. Breath man!!

10. Last 'How do I look' check

Look into your phone or a sunglasses rack nearby. No salad or anything in your teeth? Good man..


11. The Last Second Self Pep-talk

Not out loud. Say 'I can do this. I'm likable. I have qualities'..

11. The Plunge

Last deep breath and ask the question you've been rehearsing the last....what few hours or even days?.


12. The Suspense & Waiting

You've asked. Good for you. Now it might only be 0.05 of a second but it can feel like a month as you prepare for her answer..

13. The Response:



If she says yes you want to appear(appear) cool, show you're excited and happy, but you also don't want to let her see your boner so get out of there with subtlety..


Aw dude.. I'm sorry you went through all this and she said no. It's alright, man. Look, she said no, now don't get upset it is not the end of the world. You will not cry. You will be honourable in your defeat. You will maintain your dignity in the face of this nay sayer. Then when you get home watch 500 Days Of Summer and listen to Damian Rice while sobbing like a baby who dropped their ice cream then found out their dog just died..


Chris Duff
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