12 Signs You're The Rebound

There's nothing worse than diving into a fresh relationship with someone hot, sweet, smart and funny...only to realize you're a 100% pure smash & dash rebound. It's a tricky spot to be in, if only because accepting the fact that you're the rebound is like being handed a big 'ole piece of bullshit on a stick. So, is your new relationship real and headed somewhere serious or is it simply a ruse built upon the smoking ruins of someone else's disastrous love affair? Here's how you can tell.


1. Things Are Going Really Fast

While there's a chance that you and your new bae just have reeeally good chemistry and can't wait to make things official, there's also a chance that your significant other is rushing things to forget the pain of their last relationship.



2. Your Relationship Is More Physical Than Emotional

If you think your new relationship is more than just a hook-up, there needs to be some emotional substance to back you up. If your new squeeze prefers the silence of a mindless boning to the intimacy of a tender, emotional connection, they're likely trying to fuck the pain away.

3. They Talk About Their Ex Nonstop

If this is the case, you need to get out ASAP. The rebound is not only a tool for bumping up self esteem and revamping someone's post-breakup sex life, the rebound also becomes a quasi-therapist who's expected to listen to 110 horror stories about the dreaded ex without complaint. A comment or story here or there isn't bad, but if the ex blabber is constant, you should show yourself out.



4. They're Bitter

Hell hath no fury like a (wo)man scorned. But seriously, nothing makes someone more sour than a horrendous breakup, and more than likely they'll go ahead and carry that bitterness into their next relationship. As the wise Katy Perry once said, "beware the wolf in sheep's clothing."

5. They Compare You To Their Ex

Not only do you have to hear the story of how their ex took a hatchet to their heart on a never-ending loop, they do you the strident dishonor of comparing you to their ex anytime they can. Oh, you have eyebrows? Sally had eyebrows, too.



6. They're Not Interested In Your Future

A tell-tale sign that you're the rebound is your significant other's reluctance to invest any effort or interest in your future. They don't want to make plans to travel or ask you about your dreams. In fact, you can barely get them to agree to get dinner a few weeks out. All this can mean is that they see you as a temporary installation in their lives, not someone they can grow with.

7. Their Friends Can't Believe You're Dating

If their friends express poorly-hidden surprise when they hear you're together, it means that bae is most likely fresh out of another relationship...and a shitty one at that.


8. Your Conversations Are Superficial

All you want to do is roll out a picnic blanket, look at the stars and tell some goddamn personal stories. You want to talk about the galaxy, god, how you lost your virginities. All bae wants to do is talk about is...nothing, actually. Can you take your top off now?

9. They Parade You Around

Do you ever get the feeling that your significant other is taking you out only to show other people (*cough cough* their ex) that they're totally fine and having the time of their lives? Do they take you to the same restaurants twice in the hopes that a certain person might be there to catch you two laughing and feeding each other cheese cubes? Do they look around eagerly after you kiss? Keep your eyes peeled, friend.

10. The Ex Is Always Lurking


Pictures on their nightstand. The background of their phone. Old t-shirts strewn across the bed. A tattoo on their lower back. The ex is everywhere. Nowhere is safe.

11. They're Easily Distracted Or Moody

Bae is constantly lost in their thoughts and not in a sexy, troubled way, in an annoying, asshole way. The worst part, you know exactly who it is they're thinking about and it sure as hell ain't you.

12. They're Emotionally Unavailable

No matter how hard you try, it's literally impossible to make your new squeeze reveal something of emotional substance or value. You give and give and give and receive nothing in return. It's exhausting, it's bullshit and it means you're a rebound.



Video: Men Talk About Heartbreak



Credit: BuzzFeedYellow

Emily Yaremchuk
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