From The First To The Worst: The Different Types Of One Night Stand We've All Had

For those who like sex but none of the hassle that comes with a relationship, I feel as though one night stands are the way to go and why the hell not? I have this idea that Prince Charming is out there somewhere, but before I find him, I want to explore everything if you get what I mean.....Here are the different types of one night stands we've all had:

The virginity killer:

I mean, imagine you're 18, all of your friends have already ‘done it’ and you feel as though you NEED to have sex. Chances are you will be drunk: you’ll spot this guy that you moderately fancy on the dance floor, and you'll decide to go for it. It won’t be the best sex of your life, trust me, but at least it'll be done and you’ll be able to focus on how to get a bit of more pleasure the next time around.

The foreigner:

Ok, let’s set the scene: it's first year of college, it’s Saturday, you’re at an Erasmus party, drinking and talking with students from all around the world. And there’s this guy from Denmark; tall, blonde, blue eyes, (insert preferences). Anyway, you're feeling pretty attracted to this fella but the thing is, you don't speak the same language: he speaks Danish and Spanish while you speak English and French... But you don’t care, you will have sex with this boy and it will be fucking amazing because your bodies are smart enough to show each other how to communicate without talking.

The one who brings you to a hotel:

This guy probably still lives at his parent’s house, he probably has money to pay for just one hour of wild-drunk-sex before passing out, but either way you're the lucky girl who happens to be getting a free night in a random hotel in town. I just hope that when you wake up he'll still be around and won’t have run off like a thief in the night, because yes, it happened to me....

The virgin:

You may bump into a virgin guy once in a blue moon. Chances are he won’t tell you, but once half naked between the sheets, you notice that he's as nervous as a pig in a bacon factory and there are now no doubts...he’s a virgin, and you will have to deal with it.

The prank pull:

Ok, so true story alert: I'm French and one day I was out with an Irish friend in France and I met this French guy. I don’t know why, but this one night I felt Irish and so I started talking to him in English. He was so delighted he met an Irish girl and the morning after I actually left his house without a word. Yes, I lied to him and he found out and the guilt followed me around like a bad smell for approximately three days after but you know, whatcha goin' do?

The disappointment:

This guy had everything (well, almost) going for him. He was good looking, interesting, funny, smart, hot....But his bad performance brought you crashing right back down to Earth: he came in two minutes flat and didn’t even try to make you cum. Bastard!

The one who won’t get hard:

He will seduce you, you will follow him to his house, he will bring you to his bed, you will be horny as fuck… But no matter what you will try, he just won’t get hard. He'll probably blame everything but himself, but don’t listen to him. Close your eyes, fall asleep (or leave), and his flute might be in the mood for a morning-sex session, who knows?

Your future sex-friend:

You live in the same city or at least you can see each other regularly. You get on well. You had sex once and it was good. If you know you won’t catch any feelings for this person then you've probably found your new sex friend. Well done!

The Fail:

What the fuck happened? Were you too drunk? Were you in desperate need of sex? Anyway, it happened for some reason and you keep wondering why. Relax, everything will be fine, let’s just hope that this guy is not your classmate or someone you bump into every single morning, otherwise, go for it.

The one you will fall in love with:

I know what you're thinking: ‘I’m too wild and young to fall in love.’ Well sorry pal, but it doesn't quite work like that. We can't help our emotions and we can't stop ourselves falling for someone. Don’t say I didn’t warn you because it happens, and when it happens, it hurts, badly. But you'd never know, he could be falling for you too and you could spend many wonderful years together. You should give it at least a try, right?

Just keep going because as long as you’re having fun, you're doing things right.

Article written by
21 // GCD Law Student // Love penguins
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