Just Forget Them: How To Get Over Hating Someone

Hate is a very powerful emotion, it's also the easy way out when it comes to dealing with people. Sure, it's easier to hate on someone who rejects you, hurts you, overlooks you, but the more difficult thing is to rise above it. You're not hurting your adversary by solely hating them, a more powerful attack would be indifference. Hate implies they still have an effect on you and your life. If they are nothing to you, that's when you hurt them. Here are some ways to get over hating someone, it's not as impossible as you might think...

Effects Of Hate

Hate can take a serious toll on your mental wellbeing. It can cause stress, irritability, lack of sleep and general grouchiness. You can't be expected to love everyone you meet. It's fine that you don't like everyone, but excessive hatred towards someone else can have a detrimental affect on your life.

Accept Your Feelings

Hate is a strong emotion, it can be addictive and powerful. It can consume you, much like love can. By hating someone, you're letting them have control over your emotions. Do you really want them to have that power over you? In order to forget about this person and get over hating them, you need to let them go. Accept your feelings and move on from them.


Avoid Them

If they bother you so much, don't hang around with them. This can get difficult if you have the same group of friends or are in the same class or work together. However, it's not impossible. Go along to whatever it is that you have together, but don't engage with them. Keep yourself busy, that way there's less downtime for chatting, which would most likely end in a heated discussion/ bloody brawl.

Ignore Them

If there's something that they do or say that really gets under your skin, try your best to ignore it. Take a deep breath and pretend to be somewhere else. Or imagine them in a ridiculous manner: like in tight white pants with horrible and uncontrollable diarrhoea. It will probably take your mind off things for a little while...

Ask Yourself If They're Worth It


Do they really deserve the energy it costs you to even think about them? The oxygen you consume to complain about them? The time and effort being bothered by their presence? No, they aren't worth your comfort or your happiness. Concentrate on your own wellbeing and forget about them.

Remove Things That Remind You Of Them

Say they're an ex or an ex-friend, keeping reminders of your relationship around the place will not help you get over your feelings of hatred towards them. Photos, clothes, books etc. can act as a stimulus to aggravate you. Remove them from your life and you might find it easier to forget about the person you're trying to forget.

You Don't Have To Forgive Them

A lot of people will advocate forgiveness as a way of moving on from hating someone. However, if they have done something that you can't forgive, you just need to find a way of accepting the past and not letting it define your future. You don't need to forgive, or forget, just accept it and move on. If you feel like you aren't ready for that just yet, give yourself some time to work through your feelings. There's no rush.

Do You Want To Get Along With Them?

Do you want to return to being friends with them? Do you want to know them and have them know you, just with no animosity? Try imagining yourself as a third person, an impartial observer of sorts. Take a step back and see the situation from all sides. If you find that maybe you've been overreacting, or they've been acting the way they have been for some underlying reason, you might find a reason to forgive and make up. It totally depends on what happened between the two of you, and whether both of you are interested in being friends again.

Whether you do or not, don't let the hate consume you. Be able to throw your hands up and admit that you're done with this.

Orlaith Costello
Article written by
Orlaith is a Creative Writing graduate from NUI Galway. Hailing from the low lying fields of Athenry, or at least what’s left of the low lying fields. She enjoys the internet as a means of living vicariously through others from the safe confines of her own bed. She will initiate a dance off after at least two drinks on any given night out.
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