Sometimes we just want to cut and run. You're not into it and you don't want whatever this is, to continue. But you don't want to be a complete asshat and upset the guy. So here are some phrases to get that guy who's asked you out on a date to lose interest and move on fast. You're welcome.
*Sniff* "Did I just fart? I better go take care of that."
"I'm not dating until everyone is legally allowed to get married in every country. I'm super political."
"I should tell you....I'm packing peanuts and by peanuts, I mean penis."
"I'm sorry, I'm allergic."
"I actually don't have a phone...or a computer. Technology is evil and gives you cancer."
"I'm a cat that was turned into a human...meow."
"Great! You can be my first since...the incident."
"Eugh, I hate food. And drinks. Being in human form sucks."
"How do you feel about drinking blood?"
"Sorry, I'm really committed to Delena right now...I'm not dating until the writers of The Vampire Diaries get over themselves and they get back together."
"I'm expecting *rubs belly* you to be really upset when I say that I'm actually busy that night. My kids are having a sleepover."
"Agh my period just came."
"I'm on my period literally four weeks a month."
"I only date other guys. It's a personal choice really."
"Sure...I'm free *checks phone* February..29th. Does that suit you?"
"Sorry, I have Cancer...as my astrological sign and my horoscope told me not to take this semester."
"I have a lot of work...I mean warts. It's pretty bad. You don't want this."
"Thanks, but I've already eaten."
"I'm super intolerant to gluten. I can't even step into a restaurant without like melting or whatever..."
"I'm sorry I don't speak English."
"O.M.G. I thought you were gay."
"This isn't a race thing, but you're not my 'type'."
"You've just ruined the whole thing!"
"I don't date 'people'."
"I'm really into dating myself right now. I'm really good at making me happy. I doubt you'll measure up."
"How dare you proposition me like that. That's so offensive."
"I like playing Rock Paper Scissors. But like only the scissors part..."
"I have to be somewhere else."
"I don't believe in dating...it's a social construction used to manipulate people into spending money on meals they could just make themselves by themselves."
"Can I invite Brian? He's so single, cute and funny. I think you'd really get along."
"Can I bring my boyfriend?"
"Can I bring my girlfriend?"
And the traditional...
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