How To Play It Cool At The Start Of A Relationship

Getting into a relationship is one of the absolute best feelings in the world. You're filled with excitement about the possibilities and hopes for you and your chosen lover, and you're already planning how you're going to spend every love-filled day together. Well, don't. Not to be a buzzkill or anything ('cause I'm a soppy-ass romantic at heart too) but smothering your other half at the start isn't going to do you any favours in the long haul. Especially when you're four years in and the only smothering you want to do involves a pillow. Here are some tips for playing it cool at the start and not coming across as the psycho-bitch you really are.

1) Keep your questions to a respectable amount.

"What's your favourite colour? How many relationships have you had? What's your mom's maiden name?" Know the boundaries and respect them. There's nothing worse than a civil conversation turning weird because someone asked if you've ever watched animal porn before.

2) Don't freak out when they don't reply within four minutes.

Sometimes when they say they're on the phone to their mom, they're actually telling the truth. Realise that you don't have to sit there staring at your phone screen until you see that they're typing. The message isn't going to deliver faster just because you're watching it being written.

3) Don't multimessage.


For the love of... Why would you resend that message when you only sent it twelve minutes ago to begin with?! It said delivered, what don't you understand about that word? THEY GOT YOUR TEXT. Let them reply in their own time and stop being so damn needy.

4) Don't like/comment on every single thing they do/say on social media.

You might think it's supportive and you're showing an interest, but you're actually just giving their buddies even more of a reason to rip the piss out of them. And that is never the kind of attention they want.

5) Understand that "friend time" doesn't (and will probably never) include you.

No matter how much you insist you enjoy blowing shit up and getting head shots (not what you think it is), X-Box sessions are a friends only night. Maybe save all that faking it for an occasion when you might actually need to...


6) Cheesy captions on Instagram are only okay after a year or more together.

Again, you might think you're being a great girlfriend by posting a cute picture of the two of you cuddling but in actual fact, you're the only person that thinks it's cute. Most of the likes you get are sympathy likes from friends that feel you need their moral support, or maybe a few random likers that found you by looking up #cute. Does that not say enough about the people liking that photo?

7) Under no circumstances should you EVER mention your ex.

If you're willing to bring up a past relationship then EXpect (see what I did there? Ha) to add another name to that list. No-one wants to hear about that time you and your ex walked this very path and had sex in this very spot that you're now sitting on with your current partner. Boundaries, remember?

8) Be okay with taking things slowly at the start.


It's easy to freak out if you're with someone and they're a bit of a commitment-phobe. Chances are they've either been hurt in the past and don't want that to happen again or they've never been in a serious relationship before. Regardless, you should never rush them into making commitments that they're obviously not ready to make. Just be happy in the moment and if things eventually get more serious, then you can have "the conversation".

I mean, she's in there we know that for sure. If you don't listen to the above point then they'll see that you're a fucking nutter too early and you won't be able to keep them roped in. But if you rope them in first and then go crazy on their ass, it'll be much harder for them to escape. *evil laugh*

10) Treating 'em mean to keep 'em keen is definitely not a mantra you should live by.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Never, never, never, ever, ever. Just don't, k?

11) Don't do anything rash or uncalled for.


Threatening to break up with them because they had to cancel your date because they're younger sister got sick is 100% not okay. Especially when you're not even officially in a relationship to begin with.

12) Be happy and comfortable away from the relationship.

One thing you always need to remember is that you were happy before you met this person and you can be happy, even if you're not always with them. Finding happiness in yourself is the best way to make happiness last with others. Sorry, I had to end on a cringy note. I just had to. Don't judge. *puts earphones back in and blasts Ed Sheeran*

Video:Semi-Crazy Things You Do In A New Relationship


Credit: BuzzFeedYellow

Olivia Dawson
Article written by
Olivia is a Journalism and New Media student at the University of Limerick. As well as writing for College Times, she is also a contributor with Campus.ie and SpunOut.ie. After college Olivia hopes to write feature articles and/or opinion pieces for a New York magazine, from a penthouse suite in Manhattan, earning a six-figure annual salary. She's also known for being slightly over-ambitious.
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