So you've hit a brick wall at full, screaming force? You can see no end in sight? You think that now is the time to call it a day and move on as gracefully as you possibly can? Don't be so drastic, I say. Unless you are one hundred percent certain that there's no way out (and secretly, you don't want there to be one), then take a step back and breathe. Relationships, similar to everything else in life, take work. Real, hard graft. All good things, take effort. Here are seven relationship curve-balls that every couple faces and more importantly, here's how to overcome them;
1) They've Cheated
This is probably the most difficult thing of all to overcome, but it can be done. If they've confessed to you as opposed to you finding out, then it's a positive sign. They're genuinely sorry, it was just a kiss, whatever. You and you alone will know whether they really are filled with remorse or are just shitting a brick and wanted to get their story in there before someone else did. Cheating takes trust and burns it into oblivion. If it feels as though they'll never do it again, they really are sorry and you can forgive and move on, then why not do it?
2) It's Going Long Distance
Long distance relationships are rough. Really, really difficult. Depending on the distance, you may only get to see them on a weekly/ fortnightly/ monthly basis. I promise you that you'll see nothing but happy, loved up couples when you're alone and miserable and the hardest thing of all, is that in many cases, there's no end in sight, your long distance love may have no end date. That said, give it a shot. It makes you appreciate one another. It ensures that you look forward to seeing one another. It makes you plan fun things and it makes you really, really want time to pass by, so that you can see them again. If you can make a long distance relationship work, you're doing pretty damn well.
3) You Both Want Different Things
You want a serious, long term, committed relationship that you can shout about from the rooftops and they want something casual, quiet and convenient, for now. Compromise and communication is key here. Talk about it. Don't sulk, throw a tantrum and leave it unresolved, because that'll do nobody any favours. Above all, know that every single relationship is different and what works for you, might not work for anyone else. Who cares what they think anyway.
4) You're At Different Stages In Life
One of you is studying, broke, stressed and worried about life after graduation and the other is living it up on 30k a year, getting pissed five times a week and can't understand why you're cranky all the time? This is one where you need to look at the glass as being half full of a delicious, rare alcohol. One of you can calm down the party animal, have nights in and recuperate and the other can spoil, surprise and be spontaneous towards the stressed out student. Enjoy the best of both worlds and cut down on the jealousy.
5) One Of You Is Going Through Something Tough
Whether that's family troubles, bereavement, exams, friend troubles, financial worries, career problems, whatever it may be, you have no choice but to stand beside them, one hundred percent. Being in a relationship comes with many negatives, but one of the major positives is that you always have support and now is the time that this should reign true. Make no excuses, don't back away from emotions because you're 'too cool' for that. Be there for them, that's all you need to do.
6) They Have A Shocking Past
Have you just found out something about them, that has rocked you to your very core? Have they banged half the village in a past life? Have they had seven does of the clap? Did they once dabble in hardcore drugs or indeed, in a member or six of the opposite sex? Whatever it is, unless it affects your relationship now, then there's no point digging through old rubble. We've all got a past, move on.
7) Their Friends/ Family Don't Like You
This is pretty much always, always bound to happen. Unless you're the most lovable person to ever walk the earth, then it's pretty damn tough to get everyone to love you. Their family should be your first priority, flowers, chocolate, alcohol and sweet talk generally wins you some brownie points. As for the friends, get them drunk and delve into why it is that they hate you. (Presuming that it's only one or two of them, because if they all hate you, then it's probably hopeless.) If they really have no reason to despise your guts, then do what I did. Erase them from your mind, apart from when you're in boxing training and need a good motivation for hitting something at full force. Take that.
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