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Sickening Signs That You're Still In The Honeymoon Phase

We are all aware of the Honeymoon Phase. Everything is great, it all seems to be perfect and you just get sucked up into a black hole of stupidly and utter nonsense. It's vomit inducing to be honest. Here's some signs that you're still in the Honeymoon Phase.

1. You have cute nicknames for each other. 

 

Lily pad, cutey pie, little lamb... It's genuinely disgusting.

2. No fights. 

 

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It's just not natural, you don't get angry with each other about anything and here I am about to start world war 3 because someone ate my left over pizza.

3. You're in agreement on everything.

 

Look, I know you want to back each other up and all that, but please stop doing it just for the sake of it. Two Bodies - One Mind IS NOT A THING.

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4. You never insult each other.

 

I'm all for a bit of compassion every now and then but surely it just gets dull ALWAYS being so nice? No?

5. You have sex all the time.

 

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Enjoy this while you can because those afternoon delights on your lunch from College don't last forever.

6. Nothing is an issue.

 

When you're in the Honeymoon Phase, you're just calmer. 'Someone forgot to take out the bins? Don't worry, we'll get them next week. Anyone want tea?'


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7. You think their jokes are just the best.

 

Oh so everything that comes out of their mouth is hilarious, is it? I'm here to tell you it's not, and you look like a Gobshite.

8. You're constantly touching.

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Please stop. People can see you. You think people can't see you? People can see you. Stop it now.

9. Romantic gestures on social media.

 

Nobody needs to see the flowers or the new bag or the breakfast in bed. Seriously, why would you ever think that this is socially acceptable?

Sean Kennedy
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