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A Single Girl's Valentine's Day As Told By Anna Kendrick

If you ask us, we think Valentine's Day is just a shit holiday made up to sell more sweets and con people into buying flowers. But that apparently makes us 'cynical' and 'bitchy,' so we'll just have to celebrate the holiday our own way. Told best by our girl Anna Kendrick, here's how we envision our "Single Girl's V-Day" going.

1. It all starts in the weeks before. You see Valentine's Day stuff everywhere. At the shop, the chemist, even on ads on TV. You just can't escape it.

2. Then the couples start appearing. Oh God, there's so much PDA. Do they think this is acceptable just because of the holiday?

3. All of it gets you thinking about your past relationships, and honestly, you're better off without someone to spend Valentine's Day with.

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4. All your mates are going out with their SO or they plan to go for a night out and want you along.

5. But you've got plans for a hot date with Netflix and a bottle of wine that night.

6. Saying goodbye to your flatmate as she's leaving with her boyfriend gives you a weird sense of pride in being single.

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7. You start thinking about how you're super single.

8. But then you remember how long you've been single for, and you get a bit freaked out.

9. You give in to your mates who want to go out. What's the harm in a few drinks down the road? Maybe you'll meet someone.

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10. You psych yourself up for it, putting on that dress you love and heading out, determined to meet someone.

11. Half price for single girls at this bar? Um, YES.

 

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12. You spot a hot guy and start to chat him up, but it turns out he's a total wanker and won't stop talking about his Crossfit WOD, whatever the fuck that is.

13. You try escaping to the bathroom, but then you've got a drunk single girl on your hands. What's worse is she's absolutely raging about being single.

14. As the night's not going as you planned, you decide to bail. Netflix and wine are still waiting for you back home.

15. After the night you had, you may have one or two more drinks than normal, but it's totally justifiable, right? You deserve those drinks after putting up with everyone.

16. The morning after your night out makes you regret ever going out in the first place, but you know you still had a pretty great single girl's Valentine's Day.

Ally Kutz
Article written by
American student interning in Ireland for the semester. Lover of dogs and bad puns.
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