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So You’ve Been Ghosted, Now What?

Ghosting: The art of ending a relationship with someone by simply fading out of their lives. I’m not talking about that slow drift apart which results in the natural end of a relationship, oh no, I’m referring to that moment when all your messages are suddenly read, seen, or the dreaded double ticked. The person is purposely evading you, becoming an online ghost that suddenly goes offline when you start to type, hiding in the shadows hoping that if they don’t respond, you’ll eventually stop messaging. It is the plague of 21st century relationships, and is a sure sign that the person you’re dating has the mentality of a 14 year old, or simply can’t handle being honest with you. Here are seven simple steps to come out on top of the shittiness of being ghosted.

1. Put Down The Phone.

The urge to plague them with messages, Snapchat is and WhatsApp's may be strong, but for the love of god have some self-control man. They clearly don’t want to talk to you for whatever reason they have, and rather than actually talk to you about it they’ve decided to perform a disappearing act. They’re clearly not worth your time if they can’t even have a mature conversation with you about it, so pick up the tequila and drink your troubles away, like a real adult would.

2. Try Not To Overthink things.

Yes things were going wonderfully with them, and yes this is out of the blue, but no this isn’t entirely your fault. They may have a perfectly valid explanation for why they can no longer speak to you, or maybe they felt the spark just wasn’t there, but that does not mean it was your fault. So stop losing sleep over them, they aren’t not talking to you because of that one time you accidentally used their instead of there

3. SERIOUSLY PUT DOWN THE PHONE .

Okay so you’ve accepted that inundating them with messages isn’t the answer, but neither is liking/sharing/tweeting inspiraysh quotes about tru luv, “real men” (whatever they are) and maturity. They ghosted you remember? They don’t care, and neither do the rest of your friends. Being sort-of dumped by the person you were sort-of (but not really) seeing does not mean you can go full basic bitch. Never go full basic bitch.

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4. Act Aloof.

When you see him around act as if you’re an extremely important person with tons of people you need to meet, even if you did just leave the house to stock up on ice cream before the new Game Of Thrones. Look surprised when you accidentally bump into them in their favourite nightclub on their birthday when you happen to be looking unbelievable. Hide the fact you had to have several pep talks from your friends and copious amounts of wine to even look them in the eye. Act like you didn't even notice they ghosted you. Basically, act like the independent bad ass you are.

5. Move on.

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I know there was a time when you found yourself creating Pinterest boards based on what you’re joined apartment would look like, but that time has passed. They ghosted you because don’t want you anymore,  and now you need to not want them. It will be hard, and it will take some time for your heart to stop fluttering every time they come online, but you will be fine. You survived before them, you’ll survive after them.

6. Try Not To Get With Their Friends.

I know it might seem like the best idea ever to get with his best friend in order to get back at him for ghosting you, but it’s really not. If anything, you’ll drive more of a wedge between the two of you and you’ll regret it after. Unless of course that friend is unbelievable and really sound, in which case score away and chalk it down to fate. When one door closes another one opens etc. etc…

7. Remain Strong.

So it’s been weeks and you’ve finally stopped checking if they’re online every time you log into Facebook, you no longer care about their Instagram feed and the twitter you once found to be really profound and cool you now just think is a bit poncey. You’ve done it; you’ve exorcised your ghost. Unlike their initial approach of plain ignoring you, message them back, be honest and tell them a)you’re sorry they feel that way b) you tried and they didn’t, and c) you just have too much going on to meet up with them, maybe another time. Sit back and bask in your maturity, check and mate.

 

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Video: What It Feels Like To Be Ghosted [Disconnected] | Elite Daily

 

 

Credit: Elite Daily

Eimear Scott
Article written by
Twenty year old college grad with an unhealthy obsession with her dog, pizza and crime documentaries. I like to pretend I'm above reality TV, but honestly I can say 'Say Yes To The Dress' has made me cry on several occasions. Bring me coffee when I'm hungover and I'll love you forever.