Talk To The Hand: 10 Guys You're Too Good For

Not meaning to toot our own horns or anything, but as girls, we have to deal with a lot of shite from boys and when it comes down to it, we really don't need to. I don't mean to bash any egos in the process of this article because there are some good eggs among the fuck boys. But in reality, guys can be dicks at the best of times. Here are ten guys you're way too good for.

1. The Player

Oh girls for the love of God, STAY AWAY. Stop telling yourself he will be different with you when he has fucked over every second girl you know. Looks are irrelevant if you're just going to end up hurt in the process. Players often have a charming aura to them because they've been in the game so long. They know just how to rope you in and chances are, they'll tell you they've changed if you mention their reputation. Abort mission girls.

2 The One Who Plays Hard To Get

OK, unless you're Tom Hardy, you look like a massive cock playing hard to get. These types of guys are harder to figure out than a shower in someone else's house. They seem to really like you one day and the next you're old news, kind of like Azealia Banks's career. Ghosting us, cancelling on dates or refusing all contact will eventually get boring and really, you're wasting your time chasing after someone that evidently has Mommy issues.


3. The Underachiever

This might come off as a little snobby, but if you're planning on spending the rest of your life on your parent's couch watching repeats of Friends, we don't want to know about it. Intelligence is the root of all attractiveness and nothing is better than a guy with his own goals. Stay away from a man who avoids all responsibility and doesn't have any future aspirations.

4. The One Who Is  A Bit Too Smooth

A charming man is attractive yes, but when they're too charming it can leave you a little suspicious. Don't believe him when he says you're the only girl he is interested in when his eyes focus on every girl's ass that walks by. You may see him like and comment on every girl's profile picture with a stereotypical kissy face emoji. All the signs are there. Run for the hills.


5. The Gym Head

Now, nothing is wrong with being healthy and keeping fit. It's the type who post on every form of social media about their gym session, maybe a selfie attached with hashtags such as ''#gains #keepingfit #protein''. That's when you know you're dealing with a gym head and it's when you know you need to stay the fuck away. Imagine how boring your date would be? Forget counting the calories yourself, he'll be telling you exactly how much fat is in that Big Mac you've been dreaming about all day.

6. The One Who Doesn't Understand The Word No

Have you ever been in a nightclub, downing shots with your girls, NOT looking to get hit on? Then some guy, who has clearly based himself off someone from Geordie Shore, strolls over and attempts to chat you up. You make it clear you're on a girl's night and not looking for anything but this guy just won't take the hint. What is it going to take for you to realise I'm not interested? The ''I have a boyfriend'' tactic doesn't cut it anymore and he's not convinced you're a lesbian either. These guys clearly have boundary issues and even if you do find yourself attracted to one of these, it's best to steer clear.


7. Mr Commitment Phobe

Every girl has heard the excuse ''I just can't commit right now''. But when you're in your late 20's and casual sex just isn't doing it for you anymore, this excuse wears out. Words like ''relationship'', ''couple'' or even using the word ''us'' sends him running a mile in the opposite direction. Unless you yourself never want to get serious with anyone, avoid this guy who will probably never 'man up'

8. The Drunk

We all love going out and getting absolutely plastered. However, if a guy makes a habit of doing this nearly every night, there's not much else going for you is there. This especially applies to men who are messy drunks, aggressive or just down right fucking irritating. Find someone who doesn't need alcohol to have fun and is able to spend time with you without drink involved.


9. The Snob

OK, so you have a masters in law and you've been on a J1. I must have mis-read the small print. Where does that imply you're better than me? Guys that are snobby will always belittle you no matter what. You could be having a conversation about chicken nuggets and he'll throw in some fact about how chicken nuggets are made while also suggesting you probably didn't know how they were made. Just shut up and let me eat my chicken in peace please.

10. The Creep

You haven't replied to any of his Facebook messages and you've left his whatsapp's seen. He's the type to comment on all of your pictures and squeeze your arse in a nightclub. I'm sorry but, who are you?





Credit: hayleyghoover

Alexandra Marsden
Article written by
18, journalism student who loves smokes and cans
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