Let's just get one thing straight from the get go. Most, if not every girl will have some of these bad qualities, we are, after all, just human. The difference between a good girlfriend and a nightmare one though, is that the nightmarish one is constantly just so. We can all attest to being little bitches from time to time but what if you're constantly like that? Bad girlfriends are similar to a rotting bag of potatoes. You should throw them out immediately. Here are the 9 worst types of girlfriend any guy could have in college;
1) Jealous Julie
You could go home this evening and tell Julie that you've a) just been given your degree a year and a half early due to your overwhelming amazing brain capabilities, b) just been offered your dream job with a seven figure salary and c) you're going on a month long sun drenched cruise tomorrow and you'd be greeted with nothing more than a stony face and a flurry of mean comments. That's just Julie for you. God forbid she catches you looking at some girls boobs or all hell will break loose.
2) Possessive Paula
If Paula lets go of your hand in a public place containing more than two females, then consider yourself lucky. She must be feeling particularly charitable today. Paula will check your phone, pockets and mother, all to ensure that you haven't wandered off the path she's instructed you to walk on. She trusts you in the same way that she trusts a two year old with ADHD on skittles. So not very much then.
3) No Manners Michelle
Michelle is the worst type of person, probably in the world. Manners, as our mothers have said many times, cost nothing. Say thank you when someone holds the door open for you. Be polite to the waitress. Smile from time to time. Don't be a dick. Don't be Michelle.
4) Vain Vanessa
You're going out tonight. It's four in the afternoon and Vanessa is in front of the bathroom mirror beginning to prep herself. You're not leaving the house for another six hours. This is what life with Vanessa is like. You've gone for someone with great looks and now you're stuck feeling like the mong in the relationship while Vanessa spends her days looking at her reflection and commenting on how many second glances she's got since she left the house. I hope you're happy.
5) Two Faced Tara
Have you ever got the feeling that the minute you leave the room, someone starts to talk about you? Well, if your girlfriend is a two faced bitch, then she more than likely is doing just that. Two faced Tara's get their kicks from discussing other people's breakfast choices and running girls with better hair than them into the ground. Tara is not a good influence or indeed, human being in general. Avoid. Dump. Run away. Expect to be called a dick for the next year.
6) Stingy Sarah
Sarah will let you bring her out and spend the best part of a months rent on her, without experiencing even a fleeting moment of guilt. She appears to be unaware of the meaning of the word generous. Sarah is happiest when her bank account is full and fruitful. She will feel no remorse at leaving you broke and will never ever lend you as much as a fiver. In many ways, she reminds you of that smelly old neighbour we all have who hangs their old teabags up to dry (for re-use). Split the bill or split up. Preferably the second one.
7) Flirty Fiona
Fiona gets her kicks from being hit on and not by you. She's got you. You are no longer something that she feels the need to impress. Be under no illusions, she's not dressing up to impress you. Sorry not sorry. Fiona probably rarely (if ever) wants to go on a night out with you because clearly, you're cramping her style. Face up to it, you'll never be enough for this flirtatious vixen.
8) Dramatic Dee
According to Dee, everyone in the world hates her and her face. That girl looked at her oddly. Did you hear who was talking about her? She's so bored she might take a running jump off the nearest bridge. Calm down Dee, things are never as bad as they seem. Unless they involve you, in which case, they're probably worse. You'll never have a calm, relaxing time around this one, unless she's asleep. Which is rare for someone with as much irritating energy as her.
9) Dull Denise
Denise is highly likely to be really hot or a charity case, both of which would explain why you're with someone as unexciting as her in the first place. Obviously at first, something must have lured you into her web of spine crushing, mind numbing nothingness. Perhaps she has the looks of a Greek Goddess. Perhaps you're partially deaf. Perhaps you've been drunk up until this exact point and you now realise that the long stretches of silence and clock ticking are driving you insane. Perhaps you should be single now.
