Uncategorized
By Ian Smith

The Top Lies That Guys Tell Girls

"Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies"...Fleetwood Mac had it in a nutshell. Sometimes lies are uttered to maintain the harmonious relationship that has been built, sometimes they're warranted in order to prevent an all out nuclear war...the one universal thing is that, the exist in every relationship! Here are the top lies that guys tell girls.

No, Your Bum Does Not Look Big In That

Advertisement

Do you really think a guy wants a psycho killer on his arm for the night after being asked that question while getting ready to go out. Sometimes you will find that the girl does in fact have a massive arse, or be a few pounds above the ordinary. What does this mean to a guy? Well we don't really know where you're going with it when you ask that question. Is it positive reinforcement you want? Are you looking for an argument? Is it a trap? Can you genuinely not see that you have a big bum? Do you know that we actually might like your big bum? So many things that can go wrong here...So no, no honey, your bum looks lovely and peachy in that dress. Now lets go out and have a great night.

I don't enjoy going to strip clubs

There are a few things to note here 1) All men are red blooded males, whether they're straight, gay or something else. They are regardless of their relationship status always going to have their eyes attracted to something that has the possibility to get the blood flowing. 2) They know that coming straight out and admitting to being in a strip club will lead to world war three. 3) There is nothing different in our eyes than a strip club and a Chippendale show. But we know that you would argue the opposite....so we lie. We love strip clubs....so so much.

We'll talk about it later

We more than likely will not talk about it later. This discussion/argument/aimless attack on us has been going on for far to long. I'm speaking in circles and you're speaking in tongues and riddles. Lets nip this in the bud right now before I have to call the parish priest to perform an exorcism. 

You remind me of [insert hot famous person here]

We do find you extremely attractive when you are the right women for us. You will empower us and more than likely be our vision of what we want in a women. However sometimes compliments don't come easy to the non smooth talkers amongst us. So don't take it the wrong way when we blurt out "You're gorgeous, you look just like Hayley from Coronation Street" or "You're so hot, you look like Emily Ratajkowski", generally it's somewhere in between and we mean well, we just haven't got the balance right...so we tell a white lie.

I Love Your Cooking

Sometimes it's 100% not a lie. Your cooking is magnificent and we want it three times a day. But sometimes lies are warranted. Look, some men can't cook either, but we know it. So we take it step by step. First we master the toaster, then the grill, until we finally move onto the oven. Baby steps!

I Don't Think of Other Women

As of from 12:23:16 on the 13th of May 2014 there are 7,232,887,961 people on the planet. Even if we say half of these are women (for arguments sake) that means there are 3616443979.5  more females than you on this planet. We think of other women....deal with it!

I love Rom Coms

The is the equivalent of you saying you love Man United or Liverpool etc...we know that some of your do but the majority of you don't. Some of us do like watching Bridget Jones prancing around in her granny knickers. The rest of us would prefer to be in the pub. Another harmonious fib!

I'm sorry

This does not mean that we are never sorry. But in those cases of an argument having no likely end we simply 'swallow our pride' and admit to something we don't believe in because it's the easiest option. If it's one thing we've learned from this article it's that men are not lying pigs, it's all about maintaining the harmony. If you still thing I'm a lying pig, then this pig will happily fly away from you!

If YOU’D like to be part of the CT team and write for the biggest student website in the country, then email
us! [email protected]

 

Ian Smith
Article written by
Ian Smith
See more from Ian Smith
Ian is a contributing writer for CollegeTimes. He is currently partying his ass off for the Summer having spent the past 7 years at various colleges across the globe. While by no means an athlete, he considers himself a world class darts player... If you tweet him he will not respond.
Facebook messenger