Time To Go: 7 Signs You're In A Toxic Relationship

A good and healthy relationship should leave you feeling happy and good about yourself, supported and motivated, not damaged unwanted or not good enough. If you're in a toxic relationship, it will feel physically and emotionally draining. You don't need that from someone who's meant to care for you. It's time to look out for yourself and cut them loose. Here are seven signs that your relationship has become toxic;

1) They're Overbearing


They are more like an over-protective parent than a lover. They're way too involved in every aspect of your life: what you wear, what you do, what classes you should take, when you should hang out with your friends and which friends to hang out with. Your thoughts and opinions don't matter to them because they feel like they know best. Take it from me, they don't.

2) You've Changed



Not how you feel but what you like. Your likes and dislikes now mirror theirs. You don't disagree or suggest things that they won't like or approve of because you know they'll mock you or criticise you. This can feel like a rejection, which sucks. You should realise that it's totally fine to have different interests to your girl/boyfriend, that's what makes relationships more interesting. Don't blindly follow them. If you're into something they hate, that's cool, just enjoy that thing without them.

3) They're Hostile


They put you down all the time. Even in front of your friends and family. If you get upset or call them out on it, they just dismiss it as a joke, and you should 'just relax'. Not being able to express yourself and what you want in a relationship is stifling to your happiness. You need to have the security and safety to express who you are, only that way will you be happy in a relationship.

4) You Fight A Lot


You spend more time fighting than you do having a good time with each other. You constantly feel like you can't make them happy or do anything at all right. You probably will at this stage, have started to suspect they are cheating, or you're considering it yourself. When you do fight, they fight dirty by bringing up things you're insecure about or by reminding you of something you did wrong in the past that he/she forgave you for already and you thought was over.

5) They Guilt-Trip You All The Time


They make you feel guilty all the time and make you feel indebted to them by bringing up stuff they did for you. So you feel obligated to do whatever they want to do. So every nice thing they've done for you actually had a string attached. It's time to cut that string.

6) They Avoid You



They act like they don't want to be around you, but then tell you that they love you. They never want to have sex with you, but say you're the most important person in their lives. The mixed messages confuse the crap out of you and you feel rejected. When you confront them about it, they make it out like you're being really needy and that they need 'space'.

7) You're In A Secret Relationship


You avoid talking about them to your friends or family because you know exactly what they would say. That they're not good enough for you and that you could do so much better. But you feel like you're in love with them, aren't you? So they become a phantom boy/girlfriend in your life. A drain on your happiness and self-esteem. Being alone would be better than being with them, clearly they don't make you happy. Why not try making yourself happy for once and losing their toxic presence in your life? You deserve to be happy. Start now.

Orlaith Costello
Article written by
Orlaith is a Creative Writing graduate from NUI Galway. Hailing from the low lying fields of Athenry, or at least what’s left of the low lying fields. She enjoys the internet as a means of living vicariously through others from the safe confines of her own bed. She will initiate a dance off after at least two drinks on any given night out.
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