Tinder: Girls Vs. Guys Expectations

Guys and Girls are just different. We both say different things... And we both really mean different things. Take Tinder for example. The conversations can be stupid, disgusting, dull, funny, one liners... but all of it is for show. Underneath our practised chit-chat, Girls and Guys want very different things...



GIRL: <So, what do you do?)

Translation: If you think I'm going out with some smelly-ass unemployed layabout, I know you're smokin' crack!



GUY: <I work in HR at the moment, yeah)

Translation: Oh God she's actually talking to me! This fucking App has finally given me a conversation with a real girl! How do I just convince her to have sex?


GIRL: <HR? Wow, cool! Sounds important?)

Translation: I have no fuckin' idea what the hell 'HR' is. Either does he, I reckon... He seems like a dumbass... I just hope he gets a good salary...Because he don't look like no John Hamm...More like, he is actually made out of luncheon meats...



GUY: <Oh yeah, it's like, really important)        

Translation: She doesn't have a clue about what I actually do I bet... In fairness I barely know myself... But if I make it sound more impressive, she'll want to fuck me, right?



GIRL: <That's cool! I'm studying at the minute...Chemistry! It's tough but cool)


Translation: Basically, I am absolutely more smart than you. And when I graduate I will be guaranteed a job that will earn me more money than you... Please recognise this.


GUY: <Wow thats cool! I found Science hard in school)

Translation: You know what else I find hard? My dick. And I want to get it wet.


GIRL: <Yeah, Science is tough...But so rewarding)


Translation: Science is hard?! Yep, he is a dumb-ass lump of ham. Oh God why do I even go on this piece-of-fucking-shit-App?! I just want to find a guy who I can fall in love with, marry, have kids with, and then die before. Is that too much?


GUY: <Ha, yeah...So what do you do for fun?)

Translation: Rewarding?! She clearly likes to talk through her vagina... Please lets move this along, because I. JUST. WANT. TO. FUCK. YOU. BECAUSE. YOU. WERE. THE GOOD. LOOKING. ONE. IN. YOUR. PROFILE. PICTURE. JESUS!!!




GIRL: <I like to volunteer in my local church in my spare time. Really love giving back..)

Translation: This guy is a lost cause. I'm just gonna make myself out to be really boring... That might make him fuck off.




GUY: <Oh cool, me too! Thats crazy!)

Translation: Well now you've done it, Tommy. You are actually lying about helping the church to get some pussy... If this works, surely God will forgive me, right? I hope religious girls put out...


GIRL: <Oh wow...No way...)

Translation: Please sense my boredom and unwillingness to talk now. Please make this easy for the two of us and just fuck off!



GUY: <Yeah, yeah, I'm very religious...)

Translation: I'm VERY VERY VERY horny and I think this girl might be giving me the 'sexy' vibes, if you know what I mean!


GIRL: <Ok, well I've got to go do stuff with people... catch you later :))

Translation: Fuck this, I'm out...




GUY: <OK, cool, maybe we could get coffee sometime?)

Translation: She is so hot and cold right now! Vibes one minute, shutting down the conversation the next...


GIRL: <I'll let you know... Bye...)


Translation: Literally no. Never.


GUY: <If thats too much hassle, maybe we could just hook up?)





Video: How To Slay Tinder F**kboys



Credit: BuzzFeedYellow

Stephen Brennan
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