Tinder is a magical creation that enables you to talk to strangers who you know for a fact think you're kinda sexy. It's like meeting someone for the first time and the first thing they say to you is- "You fine AF". Which is great and lovely and people need to do it more often, but even though you've physically caught their interest, it doesn't mean you're home free. You've got to keep them interested in the idea of sexing you, and what better way to do that than by having a kick ass opening line. Some are fun and cheesy while others are just plain ambitious, but what do you have to lose but.. you know...you're self respect. Pfft self respect is overrated anyways. Take a seat kids because class is in session.
1) Are you made of Copper and Tellurium because you're Cute (think about it).
2) If you were a transformer, you'd be an Optimus Fine.
3) We both find each other hot. Let's skip this Tinder nonsense and accept the inevitable. What's your #.
4) I haven't figured out if you're going to be the nicest girl on my naughty list. Or the naughtiest girl on my nice list.
5) Are you a good cuddler? Cause I might let you join my gang if you are.
6) What's the difference between me and my couch? One of us pulls out...
7) Sup Tinderella
8) I'm sure you get this all the time but you look like a mix between Fergie and Jesus.
9) Do you work at Subway? Because you gave me a footlong.
10) Do you ever just lay down on a dark night and think about all the fucked up things in this world? Like why's there's a D in 'Fridge' but no D in 'Refrigerator'...*wait for her reply* There's also no D in you, but I could change that.
11) Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed.
12) Your wish is my command *please wish for sex* *please wish for sex*.
13) I hope you have Pet insurance because imma smash that pussy...
14) What's your favourite type of flower? ... I'm only asking so I know what to put on your grave after I'm finished murdering that pussy...
15) *Insert witty opening line*
16) Thank God I'm wearing gloves because otherwise you'd be too hot to handle.
17) DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN girl, you fine as fuck. I'm sorry but wow.
18) On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
19) I must be a pirate because I'm searching for that booty.
20) I guess we both have good taste huh? Congrats to us.
21) I would battle with a pack of wild mountain lions, inside a handicapped stall at a local McDonalds, with my hands zip tied behind my back and a dildo glued to my forehead as my only weapon, just to be able to take you out to fancy spaghetti dinner over skype...
22) Hey, you seem like a fun person. We should go out, get some pizza and fuck...or just fuck it you're not a fan of pizza.
23) What do I have to get on your drunk dial list?
24) Please respond. I think I love you.
25) I'm going to be honest here, I joke broke up with my girlfriend. I'm a little heartbroken and I just need someone to hold me and stroke my hair as I tell you about my day at work. And if I'm the mood we might have sex after, okay?
26) Are you a middle eastern dictator? Because there's a political uprising in my pants.
27) Hey, are you tired of sleazy fucks messaging you on Tinder? Me too...can we just have a deep conversation and get to know each other.
28) Hi, I write articles for 'College Times' on Tinder dynamics. So you giving me your number right now would be for science reasons and not just because I'm thirsty AF.
