The 5 Stages Of Man Grief... What To Expect When A Man gets Dumped.

So everybody and their grandmother have written, discussed, instagrammed, emotional images about when a girl gets her heart broken by some no good man, But what about the male of the species? Do they not have feelings more than anger when they've lost at FIFA Again. Well they sure do, but they deal with their grief a little bit differently than women.


Stage 1 Of Man Grief

Drinking, drinking and then chugging, shots. Pathetically trying to get the off license to give you more alcohol after hours. Heads up sometimes this works in rural areas.
This lasts for at least 4 days if they can handle their drink.It usually ends with them finally bursting into drunken tears and asking why did she leave me? Do not answer maybe it's your obvious drinking problem. It's too soon for that joke.

Stage 2


Wallow usually in their own filth. Showering is for men who's girlfriend didn't leave them for some muscle bound guy with a "Job". PS3 addiction is a big part of wallowing and beer because you can't let that precious alcohol level lower. Feelings might happen!

Stage 3

Trying to get other better women and move on from that slore. This happens maybe after a week or two, " Fuck that Bitch ". So they get with one, maybe two, maybe eight questionable looking women and, end up very drunk and feeling awful.


Stage 4

Remorse and Redemption. The drunk call , text, showing up at the ex's house begging for forgiveness, or trying to fight some guy who's got a definite sober, and being fucking huge advantage. This ends with him waking up in her garden or the police being called or you've been knocked out, and she's brought you in out of pity to get your mates to bring you home.

Stage 5

Acceptance this takes time and usually a lot of repetition of the previous stages. Then you get a text, it's her ! Because the minute you don't want them they want you.



Chloe Christie
Article written by
Student at I.A.D.T, lover of the Dangerzone.
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