There's a VERY fine line between being cautious with your spending and then just being plain stingy. I'm a firm believer in there being an even pressure on men and women to pay when going on dates or whatever. But a guy that won't even splash out to buy you a can of Coke possesses other issues as well as being a mean bastard.
A guy who's mean with money is probably mean in other areas too. Let's say sex for example. He's perfectly happy to let you do all the work but when it's your turn, he ignores your plea for pleasure. Do you see the correlation? Being tight with the cash is just the start of their dickhead personality. When you begin to notice his cheap ways, you need to see if he is like that in other ways. Is he generous with his time with you? Does he make YOU feel cheap? And hey, maybe you're just being high maintenance.
Realistically though, if an everyday woman notices you've a tight fist, you probably are. The Beatles had it right when they said ''money can't buy love''. For sure, you can't put a price tag on parts of your relationship buuut if opening his wallet to buy you a drink throws your date into an existential crisis, there's a problem.
When you're an adult, you're forced to realise what it takes to be financially responsible. Meaning, yes, you need to prioritise rent over the pair of shoes you saw. Still, being sensible with your dollah bills doesn't exclude you from having a social life. But then there's men out there, whether they're filthy rich or living off their parents, who have a dysfunctional relationship with their wallet.
We talk about you by the way. We tell our friends you brought us to McDonald's for a meal and then for a walk in the park after. We tell them we didn't get off because you refused to give us some lovin' in the bedroom. It's not a good characteristic to have, being mean with money. It reflects on other aspects of your personality. It makes us question if you're a selfish lover too? Which, you usually are. It doesn't take much to surprise your girlfriend with a random bunch of flowers that aren't garage-bought and maybe take her for lunch for somewhere other than a fast food place.
With all this bashing, it's only right to say that there is a psychological meaning behind people who are selfish in relationships. Giving makes them feel out of control and threatened. With such a strong need to cover up, they can hold their love very close to their being and it portrays them as selfish. Also, to them, love feels like a scarce resource. This is because selfish lovers often aren't self connected and even if they're deeply intelligent, the one faculty that remains underdeveloped is the faculty of being of being self connected.
It's hard not to get lost in their internal ''deadness'' but moaning at them won't help the situation either. You could invest your love and energy into other aspects in your life but you can't have sex with these aspects can you? No. So don't force yourself through a relationship with a selfish person.
As well as the above, it's embarrassing for us girls to pay for dates. Do you not see the weird looks from the guy behind the counter at the cinema? You could at least pay for your own nachos. It always seems to be the guys that make the most money who are the stingiest. They're stingy with their money and their affection. Hugs and random forehead kisses? Forget about it. Their selfishness doesn't just apply to their spending. It applies to their attitude in relationships as a whole. And you deserve better than that.
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