Centra Will Be Selling Sliced-Pans For 50c Tomorrow To Mark Anniversary Of Beast From The East

Centra Will Be Selling Sliced-Pans For 50c Tomorrow To Mark Anniversary Of Beast From The East

Weather, we've all seen it. There are few among us who can truly say that their lives have never been touched by weather in some form or another. No matter your situation, you've almost certainly, at some point, taken a step outside your door only to find your self smack-bang in the middle of a great, heaping pile of mist; or perhaps you were one-day riding dodgems at a fun-fair and noticed it beginning to hail - I'm sure you get my point and can well imagine some other situations for yourself. Well, it goes without saying that if we were to get all the types of weather into a room and get them to duke it out to decide which was the best, there would only be one winner: snow.

Given this, the fact that today marks the one year anniversary of the arrival of the largest snowfall in Ireland since the 1980s, 2018's Beast from the East, it would seem churlish of us to not celebrate this monumental event somehow. Seeing as it's currently hovering around 10 degrees and drizzly throughout the entire country, there seems little threat that we will be inundated with snow so as to truly commemorate the events of last year. Similarly, without us all for some reason seemingly accepting that the presence of some snow allows for the protocols of normal society to be entirely suspended, having someone abduct a JCB so as to absolutely rip apart a Lidl, just seems callous without a dashing of the ol' white stuff.

As such, Centra have taken it upon themselves to mark the one year anniversary of the Beast from the East in perhaps the only non-contentious way there is; by discounting half-loaves of Brennans bread so that we may remember just how utterly demented we became about the idea of acquiring as much bread as possible. Like squirrels preparing for winter, we scurried out foraging for loaves, baguettes, bagels - anything yeasty really. We gathered all that we could find, often turning into little more than depraved savages, shunning our common humanity so as to elbow people, or 'bread-competitors', out of the way to get our hands on some precious dough.

Centra have shared that infamous footage of people descending on a bread trolley like a swarm of locusts in a Centra last year to mark the 'Panniversary', as they are dubbing it. They have announced that they will be selling half-loaves of Brenanns sliced-pans for 50c tomorrow, while stocks last.


This is what commemoration should be. This is how we as a nation should immortalise this great event.

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Rory McNab

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