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Five Things Culchies Do When They Visit The City

Five Things Culchies Do When They Visit The City

Sometimes the bright city lights beckon to country people and they'll leave the comfort of the countryside to head to 'the big shmoke'. Whether it's moving to college, coming up for the match, going on a shopping spree or having a weekend break, here are five things culchies do when they visit the city.

1. Not put their hand out for the bus

things culchies do when they visit the city

The Dublin Bus is chucking along at a rate of knotts and the naive culchie will think it's just going to stop for them. Unfortunately, it's not like at home where Paddy from down the road will just stop to give you a lift. Without putting their hand out to flag down the bus it speeds by causing them to panic and become enraged.

2. Wait for the pedestrian signal to turn green

things culchies do when they visit the city

Your average culchie won't dare to cross the street while the pedestrian signal is red. The shock of seeing that much traffic is enough for them to fondly think of being back home walking along the narrow, winding, pothole filled, barren country roads.

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3. Go to Flanagan's for dinner

things culchies do when they visit the city

Before they hit the road they'll need to get a good feed. There'll be no artisanal pieces of bread with cheeses from every corner of the globe or avocado toast for this lot. Into Flanagan's on O'Connell Street they go to order the bacon and cabbage or Irish stew, washed down with a glass of milk...from a cow...not from an almond.

4. Bring a packed lunch

things culchies do when they visit the city

This tends to apply more to the GAA crowd who've come up to Croker for the match. They'll arrive about 4 hours before throw-in and spend the time chatting and sitting on the boot of the car eating ham sandwiches while drinking a flask of tea.

5. Underestimate how aggressive some of the birds are

things culchies do when they visit the city

Seagulls stealing your food or swans posturing up to you may seem like a fable but it happens and culchies don't expect it considering how timid the country equivalent of these birds usually are. You better watch your ham sandwiches around these seagulls.

Did we miss some things culchies do when they visit the city?

Matthew Colfer

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