How To Be A Complete F*cking Bitch

You always hear that girls love the bad guys or that nice guys finish last, well the same can be said on the flip side. Guys love a bitch...there, I said it. For some reason we tend to be drawn to bitches, whether it's how they carry themselves or their ability to embrace their brazen side in getting what they want, the nice girls just sometimes aren't enough. For men it's all about the chase and whether the bitch is actually interested in you or not she provides that chase. Here's how to be a complete f*cking bitch.

Be straight to the point

Just straight up have no time for anything unless it suits your agenda. Short and cutting sentences will hit straight to the core of people. Your tone will be detrimental to this, so keep it condescending.

Facial Expressions

Moody. Always moody. You should focus on a style that lets everyone around you know that you could take them down with one well-placed comment. So keep it ice cold and sharp.

Sleep with your friends' guys

Not the best way to keep friends and we're not saying to actively seek them out but it's hardly your fault if your friend's guy makes a pass at you and is willing to go the whole way... She should be thankful you just caught a rat for her, if it wasn't you, it would've been someone else and she may have never found out.


Be honest

Bitches love the freedom of being honest. It is the best policy after all. What's the point in spending all your time sugar coating things when you can be open with someone? A lot of people may not like this because it will bring their failings to light, but you don't care...you're just being true to yourself.


Yep. Why not! What better way to put your worst enemy in her place that with a "f*ck you you stupid b!tch". Try it...it's quite liberating.

Dramatise everything

What's the point in making a statement or having peoples eyes on you if you don't capture them completely! If that takes a little sugar coating or exaggeration then so be it. Make sure your drama queen abilities are well known and well explored.


Storm off when you don't get your way

Include a good hard foot stomp too...nothing says bitch like a foot stomp.

Make everything is always about you

Turn even the moments that are irrelevant to you into moments that are about you....if this fails, throw your toys out of the pram.

Flirt with guys you have no interest in

Just so you can see the hope build and then BOOM, walk away and leave them there unable to stand up for fear their erection will be spotted by their hyena friends who will make sure they never forget about this moment. It's the hope that gets all of us in the end.


Stand on people to get where you want

What good would being a bitch be if you're not going to use it to further yourself?! All of the characteristics already discussed show you are a narcissistic person so you should have no problem in doing so...stepping on people is just the natural progression in becoming the best bitch you can be.

Don't take no bullsh!t

You will deal out a lot of bullshit but in getting what you want but you will not listen to bullshit. Why should you? These are you ears people are polluting and you'd prefer if you could fill them with your own self-loving anecdotes. 

Never accept being ignored

Demand attention at all times, what's the point in people being in your company if they can't hang on your every word?

Never apologise

Be strong....even though you might be wrong..it was for the right reasons. Never give in to those who will just never understand the ways of the bitch.


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Ian Smith
Article written by
Ian is a contributing writer for CollegeTimes. He is currently partying his ass off for the Summer having spent the past 7 years at various colleges across the globe. While by no means an athlete, he considers himself a world class darts player... If you tweet him he will not respond.

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