Game Of Thrones returns to our screens this Sunday. We're so excited we decided to create an Irish Game of Thrones to keep us going until then.
A large majority of scenes for Game Of Thrones are filmed in Northern Ireland so there's no reason to doubt that Ireland is, in fact, Westeros. Sure if you turn the Westeros map upside down it looks exactly like Ireland - try it!
With the White Walkers coming ever closer to South of Westeros, Game of Thrones needs our dark and oppressive weather more than ever and we're all basically Men of the Nights Watch anyway.
Here's what Game Of Thrones would be like if it was set in Ireland:
Dublin as Kings Landing
Of course there wouldn't be an Irish GOT without a King's Landing and, of course, that King's Landing would have to be Baile Atha Claith. The stench of piss on a hot day, the rubbish lining the streets and the men showing their topless torsos walking down O' Connell St are just many of the ways Dublin resembles the iconic Kings Landing.
'Wee Daniel' as Little Finger
Much like Little Fingers marriage to Lady Lysa in the Eerie, 'Wee Daniel' has a way with the older woman. He has already taken over parts of the North and has an army of older women who flock to his every gig.
The White Walkers as 'Culchies'
The infamous 'culchie' is really the same as the people of Kings Landing. Sadly, geographical difference and the workings of capitalism has created a mass divide between rural and urban Ireland. Formerly Kings and Queens of the land, the 'culchies' were priced out of Dublin by the 'system'. Jackeens, the people of Dublin, are annually terrified by their presence of culchies on December 8th - the annual 'culchie shopping day'- when they flock to the city in their droves.
WINTER IS COMING!
The Men Of The 11th Night
The Men of the 11th Night traditionally burn giant bonfires which usually stop winter from coming. The 3,000 mile long iceberg that recently broke off from the Antartica will diminish from the heat before it can reach the North.
The Rose Of Tralee as Margery Tyrell
Highgarden is of course none other than The Golden Kingdom of Kerry. The Rose of Tralee is chosen each year for her charisma, uniqueness, talent, nerve and use of tan. An ambassador for Ireland her duties will include finding a King for the Iron Throne. If she cannot find a King within a year she must return to High Garden and live with the Healy Raes.
The Healy Raes as The Freys
Even men of Highgarden have enemies amongst them in the form of The Healy Raes. The Raes are forcing locals to eat extremely large portion sizes with gallons of wine but will not reveal the reason behind their madness. They're insisting locals should not burn their rubbish or they will be trialed for blasphemy against the faith. Not burning rubbish will be considered a form of praise to the false God of Climate, unrecognised amongst the Seven. Through familial alliances, the family has managed to remain in power for decades.
' A Blonde country singer' as Daenary's Stormborn
Our taxes are so low that Daenary's, Breaker of Taxes (a blonde country singer) will flock from American to Ireland with her three dragons and open a sanctuary to protect her growing
wealth empire. That is where she will meet the hero of Ireland - Mickey Dee.
Michael Dee Higgins as Tyrion Lannister
The hero of Ireland is none other Irish President Michael D. Higgins. There is no question that he is the smartest man in all the land but has no power. By joining forces with Daenary's he'll overthrow the powers of Kings Landing and his maleficent sister Cersei.
Enya as Cersei Lannister
All truly terrifying queens must have a one-word name. Much like Cersei in the Red Keep, Enya rules from her castle in Dalkey. She is known as the 'Smiling Queen' but she is truly dead behind the eyes. Her wish is to be the first Queen of Ireland, move over Panti, and rule
Kings Landing Dublin from her Dalkonian castle.