Out of all the drunk conversations you can have on a night out, the ones you have in your own head are definitely the ones with minimal outward consequences. However these cheeky chats with your conscious can be some of the most hilarious, as you try and talk yourself in and out of events throughout the night in a drunken slur with limited reason. At least your mind can always understand what drunk-you is saying when others can't. You'll always be there for yourself in times of struggle!
When the first tipsy feeling hits you...
1. Oh God, that last drink really went straight to my head.
2. Man my head feels so much lighter.
3. Ooooh my legs are doing the tingly thing.
4. Ok, Ok. You've got this, just play it cool.
5. Why am I laughing so much? Oh God.
6. They can all tell can't they? Don't peak too soon c'mon.
7. Deep breaths. CoNcENTraTE.
8. Jesus, I really have to pace myself.
When the alcohol REALLY hits you...
9. But on the other hand, one more round of this game won't hurt right?
10. What's another few shots right? RIGHT?
11. Can't let the squad down. Let's do this!
12. Oh good God. That was a terrible idea *vom*...
13. I can't feel my limbs ("when I'm with youuu, but I love it" haha, The Weeknd BANTS!)
14. Why does everything fEEL sOOooo fuzzy
15. HahahaHA. Oh f*ck I feel sick.
16. Are there any crisps?
Trying to have a real conversation with someone...
17. Wait what's going on. Are you talking to me?
18. FOCUS. What on Earth are they saying?
19. Conscious stop talking to me let me focus on what they're saying.
20. Hmmm. I can see their lips moving. Are you saying my name? Wait, what?
21. Another drink? SURE. But let's make sure it's water
22. Bollocks they're actually expecting me to say something out loud.
23. What were we talking about? Shall I just smile and nod? Hlp.
When the tiredness hits...
24. Man this is really making me sleepy, I could do with a lie down.
25. Just a little nap won't hurt right? Right?
26. It's just a little power nap. Then I can party all night! All.... night... *yawn*
27. I'll just pop my head down here. Gently does it. Carefully lower myself down here.
28. Oh God oh GOD I'M FALLING HELP!
Realising just how much you love your friends.
29. Man, just look at these guys <3
30. This is just the greatest night ever!
31. I definitely need to tell them just how much I love them. They're actually the best.
32. God I could really do with some food. Maybe I could go grab a kebab? Or pizza!
33. Man I would kill for a pizza. But I know they're going to want to keep drinking. Do I just go alone? Or is that really sad?
34. For goodness sAKe I JUST WANT FOOD. I'M SO HAANNGRY. SOMEONE COME WITH ME TO GET PIZZAAAAA. NOW.
35. Guys I don't think you understand.- I need something cheesy and carby and deep fried.
36. MMmmmm. I'M COMING FOR YOU PIZZA. YOU'RE MY REAL FRIEND. I CAN ALREADY TASTE IT. I LOVE YOU FOOOOOD.
In the taxi on the way home...
37. HEY TAXI PERSON! Tell me all about your life. Are you married? Do you have kids? Aww your wife's pregnant? You should totally name your kid after me.
38. I think you're my best friend. I've never told anyone what I can tell you.
39. BFFL? HIGH FIVE ME!
40. FUCK, where are my keys?
41. Aaaand bed time. Sweet sweet bed time.
Video: Universal Truth: Drunk Conversations