Drinking doesn't ALWAYS lead to you ruining your life, but around 50 percent of the time it does tbh. Don't get me wrong, drunk you is greeeat sometimes. She's more confident than you, funnier than you, a better dancer than you... But there are times when she fucks you over BIG TIME.
1. Your Diet
You could have been sooo good all day. Porridge for brekkie, salad for lunch, another salad for dinner and zero bold snacks. But the second the vodka hits you, suddenly you become ravenous for a good nutritious Maccy Ds. Pre-club you get a burger meal (just to keep you going for the night), post club you get a nice big dirty curry cheese chip, and at home you raid your (and your housemates') cupboards and eat until you fall asleep on the kitchen floor. The next morning you wake up full, defeated and seriously ill.
2. Drunk Texts/Calls
"Why don't you love me anymore???" she says through drunken tears. Texts and calls are the very things that people dread when the wake up after a night out. "Did I text him?" And for our generation it's even worse, "Did I Snapchat him?" There's nothing worse than waking up and seeing the little arrow indicating that someone has opened a Snap that you sent them, and not remembering what it was. These are the usual drunk texts that we read over the morning after, with dread filling our soul.
"so what are we?? / like r u shifting otehr ppl?"
"i love u soooo mcuch like"
"i like ur face do u like mine??"
"remind me in the mornign to tell u somethin funny"
"got d shift yaaaas"
"hey u i wasnt even waiting for ur reply, tbh i dont care bout u . you're out of my life. i wasn't crying about you earlier .. ok bye f u."
3. Your Belongings
Drunk you throws your phone on the ground and leaves your purse on the side of the road. All of your ID's have been lost by her at some point. 50 euro notes go missing from your purse whenever drunk you is at the club (missing/spent on jagerbombs, same thing) She loses the brand new MAC lipstick you literally just bought that day. She loses your shoes. She has also lost your passport on a night out a week before you were meant to go to Greece with the gals. If dignity counts as one of your belongings, well that's been lost many times. That girl has no respect for your possessions. So rude. So ungrateful.
Who here has woken up with mysterious bruises all over their body after nights out? Who here has woken up with a twisted ankle or a torn ligament or just woken up in pain in general? Also cigarette burns all over the hands are the norm for some people. People's voices go missing after nights out a lot of the time. Pretty sure everyone can relate to some injury after a long, drunken night. Chipped tooth, busted nose, broken arm, scraped knees (damn you heels), and much much more.
5. The People You Kiss
Let's just say that when you're drunk, you make a lot of decisions that you would NEVER have made sober. The lad you like? You completely ignore him. But that bald 40 year old creeper in the club? He suddenly begins to look like a mature, refined gentleman that you would love to get to know a little bit better. Suddenly you're shifting a rotter and thinking you're great doing it. Why beer goggles, WHY? Drunk you, you are actually ruining my life.
6. Pee And Puke
The most difficult thing about a night out on the town, is concentrating on not peeing yourself. Sometimes, you drink so much at pre-drinks and forget to wee before going into town... Suddenly you're stuck in the long line for a club, and your bladder can't take it anymore. You have 2 options; pee in a nearby alley, or pee yourself. Go for the alley girl. Retain some of your dignity. And puking, well, we've all been there. In the bathroom, smoking area, dance floor, alley, taxi home, in a nearby glass, and down the side of your bed. YOLO.
7. Starting Fights
Drunk you is much more aggressive than sober you. Drunk you starts fights with people you've never fought with before. Your sister, your housemate, your boyfriend, that random girl that's dancing too close to you on the dance floor, that lad trying to skip you in McDonalds, the 'rude' taxi driver, the list goes on and on and on and on. Drunk you has a very big mouth and tells people things she definitely shouldn't. Stfu like.
8. The Day After
The day after drinking is the day you re-evaluate your entire life. You tend to miss any lecture that you have and you spend the day wallowing in self pity. (And in fast food) Basically the entire day is a complete write off and that makes you feel even worse about spending all of your money and texting your ex the night before. The Fear can be the cause of many bad things in life. So make sure to keep nice food, nice people and fizzy drinks around you the morning after, or else you may make the decision to relocate to Africa and that's not something you want.
Video: 10 Dumbest Things Drunk People Have Done
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