"Look, I am not going to lie to you, I have had a pretty poor success rate in my career thus far. I have been woefully wide of the mark on more occasions than I've been correct. Students that I've declared will become bankers have ended up running abattoirs, those I'd been convinced would end up running abattoirs have become unlicensed homeopaths. I once spent three years asserting that a significant portion of those year's graduating students would become chimney sweeps before it was eventually pointed out to me that this was traditionally a job done exclusively by children, and was also a source of work that had largely evaporated in the 1920s. In short, I have been a terrible career guidance counsellor. But I am certain that you!" He declared, looking me square in the eye, "have but one occupation in store for you. I am willing to pledge what little of my tattered reputation remains to the fact that you will become a pudding tester."
I will never remember these words spoken to me by my careers guidance counsellor, as I approached the end of my time in school. Particularly given that, when word got out about our encounter, the phrase 'pudding tester' was taken to be some sinister euphemism. As confusion and concern around this supposed transgression grew among the student body, teachers, parents and some local newspapers, this eventually proved the last straw, and the school finally terminated his contract.
His prediction never came to pass - I have instead become a purveyor of oft-perfunctory online media content - and 'tis a rare day when any pud' passes these lips. However, like a Nostradamus who was eventually acquitted of any sinister wrong-doing by an internal school tribunal, there was apparently an element of prescience in his words. For there is a company seeking to add to its payroll somebody who shall be dubbed a 'professional pudding tester'.
Pots & Co, a dessert company, are looking to hire a part-time pudding tester for three months. Should they deem you to meet the requisite criteria for such a role, you will be paid €16.50 an hour for the privilege of eating, and rating puddings.
Their description for the position reads:
If you're a self-confessed sweet-tooth then we want you to be our official Pots & Co Pudding Taster. As a pudding connoisseur, your feedback will be crucial to ensuring our puddings remain top-notch. You'll also be getting an exclusive preview of exciting new recipes in development at our HQ to join our classic favourites, including Salted Caramel & Chocolate Ganache, and Lemon & Lime Posset.
Receiving batches of pudding for you to enjoy at home, you'll be asked to indulge in these at your own time and pace, noting your feedback as you go.
To apply, simply send an email 50 to [email protected], with 150 words describing why on earth they should start to express posting experimental puddings for you to hoover down and review.