10 Signs You're Too Drunk

The nature of being drunk is that you lose a certain amount of your self-awareness. This can be pleasant of course, it's why we drink, but at some point you cross the line into wasted territory without even noticing it. For all you know, you could be fucked up right now. We've helped you before with self-diagnosis, after all we were the ones who told you how to figure out if you're the prick of your social circle and how to tell if you're the worst roommate. To figure out whether you're too far gone or not, you need to check out our 10 signs you're too drunk:

10) You're noticing someone who wasn't attractive before is now definitely fuckable.

9) You need to close one eye to read your phone.

8) You've suddenly realised you haven't eaten dinner.


7) You're bleeding for some reason, but you're strangely cool with it.

6) Your head feels like a lead weight on the flimsy stalk that is your neck.

5) You've broken a glass but you want to assure everyone that that was simply a matter of your own personal clumsiness, the amount of alcohol you've just drunk is not relevant in this matter.


4) You've come to realise that money is of little consequence and so you've become the most generous being on Earth.

3) For someone who doesn't like to dance, you're throwing some serious shapes. Well, at least you think so.

2) You honestly believe you just want to rest your eyes and that you will resume partying shortly afterwards.

1) You have that weird dry feeling in your head that can only mean tomorrow will bring another horrendous hangover.

Joey Flanagan
Article written by
His friends call him Joe, you can call him Mr. Flanagan. A keen taxidermist and prolific writer of erotic Fair City fan-fiction, Joey's accomplishments include completing the Camino de Santiago, getting Ray D'Arcy's autograph over 200 times, and knocking a pig unconscious with one square punch to its jaw.

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