Notice how quickly your drinking habit accelerates from your teens to your early 20s. Is it a stereotypical Irish thing or does it happen everywhere else? Anyway, not to worry. For all you hibernating alcoholics out there, fear no more! Here are 15 reasons why you can still get away with being an alcoholic.
11. You need to be gee-eyed to continue dancing when Spice Girls come on in Copper's.
This one only applies to the lads. We know the girls will have no problem bopping away at the graveyard hour in Copper Face Jack's when S Club 7 and Spice Girls make an appearance from the DJ.
10. You're not married.
Again, no marriage equals less responsibility. If you're not tied down to anyone you can focus purely on yourself, whatever path you choose to take.
9. You're a student.
Students and alcohol go hand in hand. College is the only institution where you will actually do more drinking than working.
8. You don't have kids (hopefully).
The less responsibility you have in your life, the more acceptable it is to hit the demon drink more than 3 times a week. You can't be at that if you've a child in your life!
7. You're still pretty young.
Your 20s is the last period of your life span where you can consider yourself "young." Spend those precious years enjoying your liver's high tolerance while you can. Because once you hit 30, you're over the hill and steadily rolling over the other side.
6. Because you can only enjoy listening to Justin Bieber when you're half a litre of whiskey deep.
Windows closed, soundproof windows so nobody can hear your speakers, and a bottle of Jack Daniels is the only time when you enjoy listening to little JB's "music."
5. Sure what else would you spend your money on?
I don't have to expand on this point as it's fairly self-explanatory. Young people love the drink, especially young Irish people. Fact.
4. You finally understand why your dad poured himself a drink straight after work.
Coming home tired after a long day's work you'll finally understand why your dad pulled a beer out of the fridge come 6pm.
3. Your creative juices don't start to flow until you're at least tipsy.
Alcohol helps get your brain going right? It might be the wrong type of "going" but it still does something to your mind, so hold onto that as a reason.
2. You're more confident with the opposite sex after a few drinks.
For shy guys and girls especially, alcohol helps wet the lips and break the ice when out on the pull. You can be whoever you want to be after 5 Captain Morgan's and Cokes. Spread your wings.
1. Your life sucks.
Sorry about this one. But some people just drink because they live a shitty existence. It's not like you can't make a change. Alcohol is only a temporary solution kids, put down the wine and make some real changes.