So now that we can all find out who has deleted us on Facebook, we've become a little bit enraged. Why in good fuck would they delete me, I'm hilarious! Unless I've become one of those people...then it’s perfectly acceptable and I'd delete me too.
1) The Selfie Uploader
Why has this become such a popular trend? If I wanted to see your face that much I would arrange to meet up with you in real life, hashtag NO FILTER. Stop bombarding us with selfies at least twice a day because surprise surprise, NO ONE CARES.
2) The Sharer
I’m not talking about sharing information, that’s another thing entirely. I’m talking about people who click “share” on pictures so they come up on their page so they can tag their friends in it because they can’t do that without sharing a picture for EVERYONE TO SEE.
3) The Linker
If I wanted to see your “funny” tweets, I would follow you on Twitter. The same goes for Instagram. There’s a reason for the separate apps.
4) The Changer
They change their profile picture and you swear it’s the third time you’ve seen this picture. They change it periodically because they think no one will notice and thus get them more likes. *presses unfriend*
5) The T.M.I.
That person who just gives too much information away; I don’t want your hospital updates NOR do I care about your relationship. Shut up.
6) The Quoter
Putting a filter on a Drake quote doesn’t make you deep. Bye bye.
7) The Surrogate Mother
That girl who posts several updates and pictures of children who aren’t hers. Irrelevant and boring.
8) The Candy Crusher
This one isn’t just for Candy Crush, it can be for any game that they send invites for. Stop that. I will get the game if I want to.
9) The Constant Uploader
They’re at a wedding, or a concert, but yet it seems like you are there too from all the photos and videos they post. GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND ENJOY THE EVENT.
10) The Inviter
I don’t care if you’re a “rep”, stop inviting me to every event that club has. Decline. Delete. Buh bye.
11) The See More
If their statuses require you to click see more to read it all, they’re gone.
12) The Humble Bragger
“Haha I can’t believe I got another job offer! Ugh now I have to decline… AGAIN”. Go die.
13) The P.D.A People
We know you’re in a relationship, why put it everywhere on Facebook? GONE.
14) The Grammar Abuser
Bad grammar. It hurts my eyes.
15) The Third Person
“Rachel is feeling hungry.” OH is Rachel? IS SHE? Stop referencing yourself in the third person. It’s weird.
16) The Online Activist
They seem so engaged and devoted to this cause online, but they don’t do anything about it. How revolutionary.