22 Things Girls Do When They're Drunk

1) Tell people you love them

Whether you think someones really hot, or the person who just said something tooootalllyyy hilarious, or the person you just met in the queue. 'Oh my God, seriously, I actually love you though, like, seriously!'

2) Break out the 90's music video dance moves

I'm talking Elton John's epic cheesy tune 'I'm Still Standing' kinda dancing, and shamelessly, then your mate spots you from across the beer pong table, and suddenly it escalates into a serious dance off...

3) Can't even


What can't you even? It doesn't matter, because you can't... even.

4) Flirt outrageously with your best friend

Regardless of gender, 'You look so gooooood! Comeerrree til I kiss ya!' Generally just a peck on the lips, sometimes turns into some heavy petting and slobbery shifting that you will awkwardly joke about tomorrow.

5) PDA's


Couples are the worst for this, we get it, you're in love, you can stop grinding each other now... Also talking about the two horny devils who just met, groping in the dark corner of the club...

6) Karaoke

Despite not having a note in your head, you're the next Whitney, and nothing is gonna stand in the way of you becoming a superstar.

7) Emotions


Happy to sad to angry to really sad to laughing to really sad again. So many feels.

8) Makeup

Trying to top up your makeup only to make it ten times worse with your friends telling you 'Ya look graaaand would ya stop!'

9) Bad outfit choices


That snapback does not go with your dress, and no you do not look better in a onesie.

10) Nap

That slump you hit after the first 6 or 7 drinks, then the row that follows when you sneak of for a lie down and your friend finds you having a shhneeeaky kip.

11) Spend the night in the toilet


'I'm just goin' for a quick wee!' Only to emerge ages later when the lights are on and the music has stopped.

12) Drag up the past

Talking about shit that's sooo stupid and that no one remembers apart from you. 'Remember that time that you shifted that lad at the Junior Cert results night? I fucking hated you after that, I mean I REALLY hated you! How funny is that?!' Yeah it's probably not funny and you're probably making that other person feel really awkward....

13) Snapchat/Facebook/Twitter


Blurry snaps with stupid captions or misspelled statuses and poor frapes, 'Dyin 4 d ride 2nite cum at me bois xox'

14) Spend all of the money

'I'm only bringing out €20, do you think that's enough?' Yeah, it's fucking tonnes with the amount you predrink, but you still take out more money on the way to the club and manage to spend most of it... You wake up in the morning with a crumpled €10 note and think 'Unreal, I only spent a tenner!' until someone reminds you of the trip you made to the ATM...

15) Make plans


Arranging to meet people who you have no intention of meeting, or arranging dates with people you have no interest in.

16) Hanky Panky

Shifting people you shouldn't be shifting, the odd one night stand... Blame the beer goggles.

17) Steal


Traffic cones, shopping trolleys, potted plants, beer mats, some ornaments from the neighbours garden and even dogs. Put it back, ya hooligan!

18) Deny that you're drunk

What's so wrong with being drunk?! You're having fun, embrace it!

19) Lose shit


House keys, purse, phone, ID, dignity, we've all been there.

20) Underestimate

We'll all walk to that club, sure 'it's only 2 minutes away!', but sober you knows that it's a good 15 minute trek, and you're wearing ridiculous shoes, best make that 20 minutes then...

21) Smoke

You don't smoke, you never have, and you probably never will. You're coughing uncontrollably, you look silly and your mouth is going to taste like ass in the morning.

22) Talk to yourself

Everyone is guilty of this one. Whether you're complimenting yourself or just standing at the mirror saying 'I am soooooo drunk' to your reflection and pulling faces, it's pretty hilarious to be fair.

Sandra Carty
Article written by
Currently bumming it, fresh outta college, slowly and reluctantly becoming an adult while trying to decide what to do with the rest of my life. I like drinking and interpretive dance, preferably in that order.

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