35 Thoughts Every Guy Has On A College Night Out

There's a set number of thoughts that every college guy will experience on a night out drinking! Here's the most common ones and in order of start to finish!

1. Alright, let's Triple S - Shower, shit and shave!

2. Let's crack a cold beer in the shower - essential!

3. Do I have time for a tactical wank in the shower or not?


4. Jaysus, there better be some decent looking girls here tonight!

5. How many condoms should I stuff in my wallet? You know, just in case...

6. Ah shit... I'm going to have to make this 20 euro last the entire night.


7. I can get away with not ironing that shirt, right?

8. Where's the baby wipes for these bloody shoes?!

9. Shit hurry up, it's already 9:45pm! The Off-Licence will be closed at 10pm!


10. Hmmm... a nagin and 4 cans or a shoulder and 2 cans?

11. Ah sure I'll drink the shoulder and save money inside...

12. Jesus it's fucking cold outside! Should've brought a bloody jacket.


13. There better be a bit of craic at this pre-session.

14. PLEASE God, let there be some girls there! I don't want another another sausage fest!

15. Will I make it into my 9am lecture tomorrow?


16. Yeah, I can have one or two and still make it in on time.

17. Alright we're in, let's crack a can... annnd... Great!! There's my ex girlfriend.

18. Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact!


19. I'm going to chug this drink so the night will go a lot smoother.

20. Woah! Little drunk - the world seems like such a better place right now!

21. Taxis!!!


22. This is actually turning out to be a pretty good night!

23. Okay, just one more drink and then I'll go home.

24. Ah sure f*ck it! You're too deep now, there's no going back!


25. Good Lord, the girls in here are gorgeous! (Because you pulled)

26. Christ, the women in here are absolutely horrific! (Because you didn't pull)

27. Should I drop the finger? (Because you pulled)


28. Can't wait to go home and play with myself (Because you didn't pull)

29. 4am. F*ck!

30. Can I have a pint of water please?


31. Right, where's the nearest kebab shop?

32. I've 75c left... Do I have the legs and sobriety to outrun a taxi man?

33. Bed! Thank God!

34. 2 hours sleep. Be grand!

35. Slept it out! Shit!

Ian Smith
Article written by
Ian is a contributing writer for CollegeTimes. He is currently partying his ass off for the Summer having spent the past 7 years at various colleges across the globe. While by no means an athlete, he considers himself a world class darts player... If you tweet him he will not respond.

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