5 Half-Assed Presents We Get Our Family Every Year

We all want to make everyone's Christmas special. But being broke means that someone along the way draws the short straw and get's the half-assed gift that you'll just about get away with. So here are some of the last minute gifts we give every year.

1. For The Brother: Lynx Gift Set

There's a mutual understanding among brothers that they don't care about giving presents, especially for each other. While women are incredibly weird about presents, men are incredibly indifferent. Thus, the Lynx Gift Bag should do the job.

2. For The Sister: One Direction Calendar (Or Maybe The Brother)

You know enough about your sister to declare that she kinda likes One Direction and follows the Gregorian calendar, so this should do the trick. Remember: if you do decide to go that extra mile and buy her cheap jewellery in Argos, for the love of God make sure it's not anything Playboy.


3. For Mammy: Bath Soaps

Mammy is a dangerous person to make a half-assed effort on. 'But what the hell does she want?'- you ask yourself as the deadline comes closer. You panic! In Boots you see  soaps, salts, candles, and stuff that seem to smell nice- done! WARNING: Do not go cheap on this or you will be found out! When she says 'ah sure I don't mind what you get me', it's a trap!


4. For Daddy: Jeremy Clarkson Book or DVD (Can't Get Socks Again This Year)

You've seen your Dad watching Top Gear and  finding Jeremy Clarkson mildly amusing. Whether he shares the same casual racism and ignorance about climate change as Clarkson you haven't really decided yet. But a DVD or book with Jeremy Clarkson's face on it for sale? Be grand!

5. For Granny: Cliff Richard Daniel O'Donnell CD or Calendar

“Will ye get something for Granny, she's coming down this year,” your Mam says as you calculate how much money you have left. She's your Mammy's Mammy- a Mammy squared if you will- and will want something that extra lovely. So a Daniel O Donnell CD or calendar should go down a storm on Christmas morning. Look at him there! Isn't he lovely?

David Keenan
Article written by
D.I.T and N.U.I.M graduate, socially retarded but a nice lad nonetheless

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