50 Reasons Why You're NOT Pulling Girls On Nights Out

Tired of going out with the intention of pulling a girl, and failing? Feel like you're doing something wrong but can't quite put your finger on it? Steer clear of these 50 things and you'll fare better on your next nights out!

1. You're wearing black shoes with light blue jeans.

2. You're far too drunk.

3. You invited her down to your mobile home (caravan) in Wexford.

4. You use the worst pickup lines, e.g, "Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass!"


5. Sweat patches are soaking through your shirt, falling from your pits down to your ribs.

6. You bring up your ex girlfriend right off the bat.

7. You have no money to pay for a cab to your/her place.


8. You got sick all over yourself.

9. Your ex girlfriend bumps into you.

10. You use the word "hashtag" in a sentence.


11. Your friend spreads vicious rumours about your penis size.

12. You decide to hit the dancefloor after one tequila shot too many.

13. You stare at her and never break eye contact.


14. You slam a shot at the bar and immediately scream: "Woooo!"

15. You tell her she reminds you of your mam.

16. You decided to share a bed with a kebab instead of a girl tonight.


17. Your credit card declines when you attempt to buy her a drink.

18. You can't stop passing wind, and she know it's you. But remember:

19. She thinks that you're gay.


20. You payed it too cool and got stuck in the friend zone.

21. You stepped on her toe while dancing.

22. You blew smoke right into her face.


23. You spilled her drink  all over her dress. But...

24. A little spit hit her when you were screaming into her ear.

25. There's some food stuck in your teeth that you didn't know about.


26. You told her you work in a drive-thru full-time.

27. You mention any of these 3 words within the first few minutes of meeting her: Love, Sex, Kids.

28. Your fly was open.


29. You're wearing a snapback and zip-up hoodie to a nightclub.

30. You propositioned her with drugs, before hitting on her.

31. You tried hitting on her best friend first, and failed.


32. You fell asleep while talking to her.

33. She was grinding on you and your penis didn't budge.

34. She was grinding on you and you blew a load in your pants.


35. You told her you're shit broke.

36. You informed her that you have a baby on the way.

37. You brought up your previous STIs.


38. You're doing an arts degree.

39. You absolutely wreak of B.O.

40. You told her how devastated you wear not to have seen Garth Brooks.


41. You wear a wifebeater with a buttoned-own shirt.

42. You're overly aggressive in your pursuit of her.

43. You wear glasses with photochromic lenses.


44. You curse excessively in her presence.

45. You flex your biceps when pointing someone in the direction of the bathroom.

46. You're creeping alone in the club.


47. She sees you pay for your drinks in 5c and 2c coins.

48. You listen to One Direction.

49. Your breath smells like dead fish.

50. Your favourite TV show is Gossip Girl.

Damien Slater
Article written by
Damien is a handsome 20-something recent graduate, with a developing tint of megalomania and unwarranted sense of entitlement. He is a fond lover of happy hour and is a self-proclaimed "expert" in pickup-artistry. With an aptitude for writing and solving algebraic equations, he is currently enjoying life, bouncing from one hot blonde to the next, and hopes to soon achieve the 100th notch on his bedpost.

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