I have been to Coppers once. That single trip there ended when I had to bring a tearful friend back to her home in a taxi. I resented this for many reasons; mostly because I am usually the tearful one at the end of a night and, what with having to keep it together to try console her, I had to defer my own emotional collapse until I was home and away from both my friends and the blaring soundtrack featuring an unwarranted amount of S Club 7. Given this, the amount of cash I have lined the coffers of Coppers with has been negligible. But some of you. My heavens you may as well have constructed a sluice from your bank accounts straight into some vast pit they've constructed.
The company that operate Copper Face Jacks, Brenagh Catering Ltd., recorded pre-tax profits of around €100,000 a week, or €5.16 million for the year. They are sitting on a gilded throne built on the largess of trainee gardaí, teachers and nurses.
Let's take a minute to process that. €100,000 a week. Now, let's not forget that that is not total income for the week. No, that is pre-tax profit. So that is essentially all the money that is left over after they have paid the wages of their some 200 employees; paid for the running costs, their rent, their stock and most importantly, to hopefully have the entire place routinely decontaminated more comprehensively than a nuclear power plant after a leak.
This means that, since the establishment or, to more aptly describe it, the 'garish fuck bunker', opened in 1995, it has accumulated a cash reserve of some €59.84 million. To put that in perspective that is enough to buy the powerful French left-wing back Benjamin Mendy from Manchester City and still have €1 million left - which would presumably pay his wages for 6-8 weeks before they have to declare bankruptcy. I would be the last person to suggest that this would be a sound move either financially or in any business sense, all I'm saying is, it's an option, and the fact that it is, is ludicrous.