Life

Granny's Devastated As Donut Threatens To Wipe Out Bun By 2020

Granny's Devastated As Donut Threatens To Wipe Out Bun By 2020

Much like the bitter battle between the red and grey squirrel, the clash between donut and bun shows no signs of abating.

The docile bun has been a staple of the Irish diet for the past 50 years but is now under thread after the influx of American donuts.

The donut is not a native species to Ireland but was introduced to these shores in 2015 after a J1 student accidentally brought a box of them home in his luggage. The confectionaries then escaped and have bred rapidly with the total population of Donuts believed to be around 2 million.

Several donut nests also known as 'Offbeats' have sprung up over the past year which encroach on locations which have traditionally been the habitat of the iced or currant bun.

Wildlife expert Philomena O'Dea spoke to College Times about how the introduction of the Donut could effect the humble Irish bun:

It's bad news for buns as far as I can see. The donut has seen exponential growth over the past year and the species shows no signs of slowing down. You can see them in almost any urban conurbation.

While the bun is still rather prosperous in rural locations, there's no guarantee that this will continue given the nation's rapidly expanding appetite for the glazed donut.

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O'Dea gave a grim assessment when asked if the bun stood a chance against it's new rival:

Buns still take pride of place in many a granny's shelf, but what's to say that when all of these granny's die that the buns will go the same way? Just yesterday  I was walking through town and I saw three more Offbeats had sprung up, I just don't see how the bun will be able to compete.

The much more aggressive and territorial Donut growth has started expanding in major cities such as Galway, Cork and Dublin and according to reports by the CSO, there are fears that the influx will reach all corners of the island by 2020 and completely wipe out the native bun.

 

See Also: Widespread Shock As NUIG Student Pulls Essay Out Of Arse At Last Minute

Eoin Lyons

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