Yes, we college students love going out, but sometimes it may get repetitive and boring. Occasionally you might want to stay in for the night and just relax or catch up on some sleep. Desiring a cosy night isn't weird or abnormal, it's only human. So when your friends ask you on a night out to the town, you're hesitant. You don't want to tell them truth, otherwise you will come across as boring and dry, so you find yourself seeking the 'perfect' excuse . . .
1) I'm 'sick'
It's the oldest excuse ever used, but it works like a charm but if you utilise this excuse too much your friends are going to get skeptical.
Expect a stream of questions: What's wrong with you? When did it start? Do you go to the doctor? Are you on medication? Your friends will even try to become a doctor themselves, diagnosing you and recommending quick solutions to your recovery. Stomach pains? Fizzy 7up. Headache? Panadol. The real dedicated friends who know you're fibbing will go to great lengths to catch you out. They'll ask if they can pop by, or they may even come by uninvited.. The excuse 'it's contagious' won't work, after all the Irish mentality is 'ah sure, it'll be grand'. At this stage, they know 100% you are lying, so they won't show you any mercy till they expose you.
2) I'm poor
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This excuse is interesting, because no one can prove if you're lying. You're bank details are private and your friend isn't going to go rooting through your purse. Well they could try, but if they get caught then they look very bad. Lack of money is a good excuse, because no one will push you to spend you're last bit of moolah on a night out. Everyone is struggling financially in college, so your friends will understand that you need the money to survive.
The persistent friend will encourage you to get guestlist, cheaplist and will even try to get you a wristband. You need another excuse- you can't afford to drink and get the taxi home. Everyone promises they will chip in to pay the taxi, and as for drinks, you can just have a sober night... Crap, another excuse? Bingo! You can't get a taxi together because you live far far away from where the rest of them are going. Now you've defeated them.
3) I've an essay due for tomorrow
This is also a good excuse. Everyone knows that in college, people tend to leave their work to the last minute. It's a 2,500 word essay to do, and you've barely done a tap of work. Well how much have you done they ask? Oh nothing. You're just staring at a blank page at the moment. Well, most essays are due at like 4 o'clock, right? You could go out, sleep for a bit and then wake up super early and type away frantically till exactly 3:59 they suggest. Another excuse slips out. Oh no, the deadline for this essay is at 9 in the morning, so I can't leave it till tomorrow. You tell them it looks like you'll be pulling an all nighter you tell them, and they sadly agree with you. Note with this excuse though, if they find out from others that the essay was due ages ago, you're screwed.
4) You're on antibiotics
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This excuse is almost bullet proof. When it comes to your health, people know it's not to be messed with. This excuse differs from being sick. Feeling sick is associated with feeling crap, feverish and snotty noses. Antibiotics, on the other hand are associated with a more serious condition. You may be recovering from a sickness, but you still need to take the medications. Therefore, if you're taking medications, you can't drink. And a night out where you are sober and your friends are pissed isn't appealing to you.
5) I went out last night/ I'm still hungover
This excuse is dangerous. Your friends will be surprised that you went to a club without them, and they will bombard you with questions. The main question will revolve around the fact that you didn't invite them out as they always invite you out. However, you're the master of excuses and you tell them it was one of your other friends birthday that they didn't know. If your friend is from a different course, you tell them that it was a class night out. If you utilise this excuse, you must be in desperate need of an alibi because there could be consequences: Your friends could shrug it off or they could call you out on being a lousy friend for forgetting about them. Losing your friend to a fake night out is not worth it though, so this excuse should be used carefully, if at all.
6) I've an early start/work tomorrow
This excuse of an early start tomorrow morning would be considered pathetic. Plenty of college kids have an early start tomorrow too, but they don't care and neither should you. You tell them that you don't want to miss college and people will laugh at you. There are impressive students who can go on a night out and still wake up early for their first lecture, while there are students who won't be able to function the next day, let alone attend their lectures. However, if you spice the excuse up a little bit and explain that you have an important presentation in the lecture tomorrow morning, you'll be off the hook. You may get snide comments like nerd, dryshite and anti-craic. If you use the excuse of work tomorrow, that's a strong excuse as people understand that you've responsibilities and you're trying to earn money for the next big night out.
