It's the ultimate test of friendship, one which shines a light on the dynamics of your relationship with another person - Happy Birthday's on Facebook. You know the drill; it's 11.59pm on the night before your birthday and you nervously wait by your laptop, anticipating the little red box signalling a notification. 'Happy Birthday!!' screams the comment. You outwardly relax, smug at the fact that people have remembered your day of birth. For the next 24 hours a steady stream of comments alight your page, each one a barometer of your relationship with that 'friend'. Below, we have compiled a list of the different comments most likely to appear on your Facebook page.
The 'too-cool' commenter
Clearly it is way too much effort for them to type the other 11 letters, so instead they end up typing this. 'Ice cream? Are they advertising something? Do they want me to eat it?'
You haven't seen, never mind spoken, to this person in at least 2 years. Actually, you're pretty sure you seen them just last week but they avoided your glance. Now they're writing on your page, congratulating you for being born.
The Show Off
Usually these people are close friends, but sometimes they can be someone with whom you're not that close to. Basically someone you humour and deal with when you have to. They however, completely misread your relationship and profess their love for you, how you just 'get them' and have been 'friends for years'. There's nothing for it, so you just click 'like'.
These comments can be similar to The Show Off's, but they are clearly genuine if a little inappropriate. Phrases like 'You are beautiful inside and out' and 'you are growing into such a wonderful man/woman' are cringe inducing but you are secretly a little bit pleased inside. And sometimes they are just plain weird.
Kind of similar to The Stranger, yet these are people with whom who previously had a deep connection with like an ex or old friend. You don't expect any comment from them and yet when a notification signals their wishes you feel fuzzy inside. And then remember why you hated them in the first place.
The Angry Ex
Different to the surprise in that instead of a short, civil 'Happy Birthday', they write an essay proclaiming both their undying love for you and why you are Satan's spawn.
Someone who probably doesn't get out much and so when they have an excuse to write on someone's page they have a totally one sided conversation. If nothing else, it's entertaining.