The whole night can be ruined in one fell swoop. After a hearty pre-drinks you're stood there in the queue at the mercy of those stocky gatekeepers. The bouncers.
One wrong move and you're not getting in. So how can you avoid getting on the wrong side of the men in black? Here's how.
1. Don't Get Shitfaced
Fairly obvious one here. You're not getting past that door if you can't string a cohesive thought together.
2. Give Him The Auld 'Eyes'
Advertisement
This trick only works if he's after turning away some drunk before you. Make sure to catch his eye and throw yours up to heaven in a gesture that will scream 'I am a responsible adult who will not be dancing on the bar come 2am'.
3. Smalltalk
The trick here is to overload his brain with meaningless information so that he/she cannot assess whether you should be allowed into the premises. 'Busy tonight?' 'Some weather' and 'Nice jacket' should be go to ice-breakers when approaching the door.
4. Reverse Psychology
Advertisement
Make like you couldn't be arsed whether he let you into the club. Try looking through the window and sighing or publicly proclaiming 'Is there nowhere better open?' Subconsciously this will make the bouncer crave your approval.
5. The Illusion Of Familiarity
Walk up to whoever is on the door and give them a bear hug. "Well pal, how's the wife and kids?" They'll be so embarrassed by the fact they've forgotten you that you'll be able to walk straight in.
6. Pretend You Mate Is Already In There
Make like you've seen your mate on the inside of the pub. Give a wave and if you really need to sell it have a full blown conversation with no one:
Advertisement
"Hey! Is it busy in there Liam? Oh right... get us a pint will ya? Sound man, listen I'll catch ya in there."
7. Be The Strong Silent Type
While all of your mates are yapping in the queue keep calm and composed. Don't get involved with the horseplay. The point is to try and come across as a total dry shite that couldn't cause any bother even if he tried.
8. Sneak In Behind Someone
This will only work if you are small and they are big. Best find a chunky buddy for that one.
Advertisement
9. Go In The Back Door
A risqué strategy. If you get caught just pretend you're the barman.
10. Walk In With A Woman
It's a sad fact, you're more likely to get in if you have a young one in tow. Better fire up the auld Tinder.
Just in case this advice is a bit male-centric, I'll give some counsel for the fairer sex. My advice is that you don't need any! Women always get let in by bouncers!
