Old Versus Young: What Different Types Of Alcohol Do To Me

I don't know if there is any scientific explanation behind the effects that different types of alcohol have on you, but in my head that is 100% the case. Pounding shots of tequila, for example, manages to bump me up to a whole new level of inebriation but pounding the same number of shots of say vodka would not land me in as much trouble.

As you get older, two things change when you are boozing: the way you drink, and what happens to you when you drink. Here's the effects that these types of alcohol had on me when I was young and now, that I am older (not old). Is it the same for you?

1. Beer.

Young: In my younger days of being a late teenager I could drink beer like it was water. Seriously, I mean beer bongs and beer pong were like child's play in terms of drinking games for me. I used to wake up after a heavy night of beering with no hangover at all. I'd have a salty mouth as dry as the Sahara Desert, but little or no hangover.

Old: Beer is still my preferred alcoholic beverage of choice. I can drink beer at a steady, even pace for the duration of a night, pound a couple of pints of water before bed and still wake up feeling like someone clocked me over the head with a sledgehammer somewhere along the night. But now I actually LIKE the taste of beer and find myself getting excited to taste new beers, especially craft beers, and I'm not just drinking it for the sake of getting drunk. Does that mean I'm getting old? I hope not.

2. Gin.


Young: I remember smelling gin when I was younger and almost getting sick from the aroma. I tried mixing Cork Dry Gin with 7Up one night because there was nothing else left in my house, and I DID get sick as a result.

Old: Last summer I decided to give gin another shot, and I couldn't believe why I had stayed away from it for so long. That whole Cork Dry experience just threw me off the cliff for a while. But in fairness, I did forget to mention that it was gin mixed with lukewarm, flat 7Up in a 2 litre bottle with the wrapper torn off which I ended up drinking in a field. Hmm, looking back maybe it wasn't the Cork Dry's fault. But now, I've become a connoisseur of the gin world, and do enjoy a nice Hendrick's and tonic with a slice of cucumber on occasion.

3. Vodka.

Young: I loved vodka when I was younger. It was the first spirit that I ever tasted and I really didn't mind drinking it as long as it was mixed with something fizzy. Red Bull, Lucozade or Coke usually did the trick. It was usually the bottom shelf brand of vodka that I was drinking, some of which are not even around anymore. Glenn's, Tesco vodka and all those other stomach-rippers.


Old: I couldn't for the life of me drink a shoulder of Tesco Vodka now. No sir! In my older years I've actually strayed away from vodka. Not that I don't like it, but I was never really good as measurements and often overdid it and turned into a crazy person too fast and too early in the night. That's when my crazy drunk alter ego decides to make an appearance. Nobody likes him. I've managed to stuff him back into the depths of his dungeon since then, but he sometimes likes to show up on my birthday or the odd work party.

4. Cider.

Young: Druid's was the first alcohol I ever drank more than a can of, and boy did it absolutely write me off. Linden Village, Strongbow and Devil's Bit were drinks that I often consumed as a teenager, mainly because I couldn't stomach more than 3 cans of beer because I hated the taste of it.

Old: Nowadays, that's completely reversed. I can't drink cider at all. I just hate the taste of it, but I'm a beer fiend. I hate Bulmers okay? There I said it! I don't care if it's a really hot day and it's a cool pint in my hand, I think it tastes like expired Cidona.

5. Whiskey.


Young: I remember drinking whiskey 3 times when I was younger, and I cannot remember anything that ensued on those 3 nights. Whiskey isn't for everybody, or so they say. But I can't really say much more about it, other than it summoned my alter ego (who I was telling you about earlier) back out of the dungeon. He is not fun.

Old: Nowadays, I sometimes like to sit at the end of the bar in a suit with a glass of Jameson and 2 ice cubes not talking to anyone. The only interaction I have with anyone is when I give my bartender the eyes and give him the signal for one more. People seem to think that I'm a successful man with a taste for fine whiskey, or that I've just got fired from the bank that I work in and am contemplating going back into my boss's office after lunch with a gun. Yeah, I don't drink whiskey much.

6. Tequila.

Young: Young, I never drank tequila and it was a bloody damn good thing that I didn't! I can imagine myself getting into some very stick situations if I did.

Old: My war call (and I do this every time) for ordering a round of tequila shots is as follows: I put two hands to my mouth, tilt my head back, and loudly scream TA-KWEEEL-AAAAA! Yeah, I'm that guy. The loudmouth idiot drunkard who would look like an awfully handsome latino if you just placed a sombrero on his head and painted on a twirly black moustache. Tequila is my shot of choice. Ultimately, it's a love/hate affair. I love tequila, tequila hates me.

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Ian Smith
Article written by
Ian is a contributing writer for CollegeTimes. He is currently partying his ass off for the Summer having spent the past 7 years at various colleges across the globe. While by no means an athlete, he considers himself a world class darts player... If you tweet him he will not respond.

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