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Sh*t Girls Do At Festivals

High-waisted shorts, crop-tops and vodka, these are some of our favourite things. With the festival season underway, the sense of excitement to see some of our favourite acts in Ireland or abroad can be a little bit too much! No matter if it's Tomorrowland or Electric Picnic, Girls will get up to the same shit at any festival.

1. Camp with the 'Girls!'

"So it's you, me, Mary, Grainne, Shauna, Ciara, Niamh, Alice, and Aoife. Sure we'll all fit, we're only small.". Yes, us girls love spending time with fellow members of womenkind. You'll all squeeze into 3 person tent from Argos with some room to spare for love interests and complete strangers.

2. Use A Lad To Sit On Their Shoulders

"Lift me! Lift me!". Yes, we realise we sound like toddlers wanting to be picked up.  But honesty I can't fucking see a thing and I'm missing out on seeing Alex Turner's babelicious face. Plus I might be on the telly.

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3. Put Flowers In Their Hair

Whether their Daisies fresh from the ground or as a headband for a fiver in Pennys, all girl's look like Lana Del Ray with flowers in their hair... or at least think they do. It's certainly one way to get into our free-spirited alter-ego. Judge all you want, they look good.

 4. Lose Their Phone

"I LITERALLY JUST HAD IT.". Of course you did. It definitely didn't fall out of your short-shorts while you were in the Rave tent losing yourself to the moment. The rest of the girls will help her spend approximately half an hour looking in the mud for her Iphone5, and eventually buy her a 7e slice of pizza to cheer her up.

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5. Knee High Socks & Wellies Combo

A combo only the true fashionistas rock, other girls won't really be bothered with this. They're usually the more hardcore festival goer. But still, matching your Wellies to your stockings is key for the true girlie girls.

6. Bring Suitcases

This is more common among the first time festival goers who have not learned that fitting your massive suitcase into a pop-up tent is both space consuming and not a very comfortable pillow. They will only make this mistake once... hopefully.

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7. Use Fannypacks

You'd be surprised how short shorts can be, and crop tops don't have enough boob space for a phone, money, a poncho and a festival map/timetable. Fannypacks are horrible looking, but ridiculously convenient. They tend to be wore by the more sensible member of the clan, who usually ends up carrying everyone else's shit.

8. Body Paint

You can tell a Girls' creativity or the maturity of her mates from her body paint. Body paint can range from luminous paint, exemplifying the lovely features of the young lady or "I love willy" written all over their back as the result of passing out early and mischievous tent-mates.

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9. Give Up On Their Diet

"I'm only going to drink vodka and juice." That's great Ciara. But realistically you'll find Ciara after the headline act sitting up against a tree stuffing her face with garlic cheese chips and a can of Dutch Gold she scabbed off some Dublin lad.

10. Actually Use The Toilet Facilities

As much as Girls enjoy pissing in lanes and alleyways, at festivals there tends to be no privacy in the open air. So off to the portaloo they go, Kleenex in hand.

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11. Drink Too Much

Every girl will make the mistake of mixing vodka/rum with wkd at least once and end up getting mega-trashed. You'll often see these girls sitting in the mud and crying about being muddy, or sitting up against the wall, falling asleep being kept awake by her fannypack wearing girlfriend, who's shoving chips and water down her throat. When worst comes to worst, you'll see them being carried of by the medics who are fucking sick of wasted girls.

12. Wear Tan

Tents are not just a place of sleep and pre-drinking, but also tanning booths. Walking past tents in the early afternoon you'll often hear "Could you do my back?"/"Can I borrow your Sally Hansen?"/"Is that Coco Brown stuff actually good?". Girls love tan. They wear it for any special occasion and Electric Picnic is no exception.

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13. Treat Lost People As Lost Pets

"His name is Hugo and he can't find his friends. Can he stay with us? He's scared.". No Shauna, two of the girls already have temporary live-in boyfriends, we have those two girls whose tent was set on fire and we still can't get rid of that weird Belgium fella who followed Aoife back last night. You'll have to tell him he can't stay in our tent... Well maybe just for the one night the poor thing.

14. Cowboy Hats

Ye-haw! The juxtaposition of rodeo and freeing festival behaviour has Girls loving the cowboy hat!

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15. Go Missing

"I can't find Shauna anywhere! Her phones off and I have her vodka.". Who knows where Shauna is! Last time I saw her she was talking to that Cork lad before The Killers came on. It appears she's done a runner, or got lost in the crowd. Either way the rest of the girls will panic for the next ten minutes before forgetting about Shauna as the next band comes on. "Sure, she's probably gone back to the tent.".

16.Pop-Up Tents

For the very best-friends who have never been to Scouts a pop-up tent with clouds on it will suit perfectly for the weekend ahead. Only to discover that it's fucking tiny and for it to be set on fire by the Tallaght-ban lads next to them. And end up seeking refuge in Shauna's tent.

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17. Hover

An essential peeing technique when using the dodgy and germ infested portaloo. Kleennex and baby wipes can't erase the layer of Chlamydia on the toilet seat.

18. Facepaint

Whiskers. Butterflies. Willies. Girls fucking love some festival face paint. It's the only time when you get to go around with a eyeliner drawn moustache and not be judged.

 

Catherine Munnelly
Article written by
Catherine Munnelly is a colourfully-haired UCD graduate with a degree in reading books. A pint-sized bundle of wisdom, she has mastered the game of Flip-Cup, enjoys the company of bearded-men and despises rude people. When she's not writing or talking about her dog, you'll find her wandering around Europe telling folk that Leprechauns exist and Bono's her uncle.

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