Six Things You Only Think You Can Do Because You're Drunk


Give any drunk person enough shots and then ask them to "give you a beat", or don't ask them, I'm sure someone will oblige. Then watch them over-confidently spout a series of saliva-filled noises from their body, making sure to continue way longer than anyone would like. Oh and watch out for the partner in crime, who raps along to the beat.


Arguments are par for the course when drinking, but get anyone drunk enough and you're guaranteed a dedicated negotiator for any confrontation. The negotiator, usually the one making the most sense, is a half human, half mumbling baboon guaranteed to make the sitch worse.


After enough vodka soda limes, every girl becomes blessed with expert photography skills. Get ready to take the same blurry picture 50 times because she didn't use the right fucking Instagram filter...



Men will admit this, even the most refined of gentlemen can only drink a certain amount before they reveal their ability to climb things. Trees, buildings, people; you name it and a man will risk certain injury just to show off this manly talent.


Usually this comes in the form of some Facebook creeping, trying to arrive home without waking someone up, or figuring out what someone's boy/girlfriend is up to. Watch them break into their own house or 'hack' Facebook with the confidence of James Bond and the stealth of a Sharknado.


Being Sober

The drunker anyone gets, the more sure they become of their ability to appear completely sober. As they sway back and forth attempting to regain visual focus, they'll be sure to tell you repeatedly how they feel "completely fine"...

Via CollegeHumor

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Shane Johnston
Article written by
Editor for CollegeTimes, UCD graduate and music lover. [email protected]

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